First Post of the New Year!

WOOT!  Happy 2011 to everyone!


One of my resolutions is to lose this darn extra 15 (OK, 25!) pounds that keeps floating around my middle...  So, in keeping with this goal, I'm going to start posting at least one healthy, low-cal recipe per week on the blog.


You know I love it when you send me messages and comments, so if there is something type of recipe you would like to see, PLEASE let me know!


Happy New Year to you all...  Hoping 2011 finds you happy, healthy, prosperous...  And reading lots of Swedish Chef blogs  :)

Trial and Error

Thomas Edison once said that, if he found 10,000 ways that don't work, he hasn't failed.  Well, this prompts me to wonder if the man invented Prozac and just didn't tell anyone.  But it also emphasizes the need to keep trying.

I feel this way about cooking.  The reason they call it Trial and Error is, you have to be prepared to make some mistakes.  The problem is, many people give up at "error".  You have to keep the trials going, because although it might be trial, error, trial, error, trial, error…  Eventually you will experience success.

I speak from the heart when I say this.  Lord knows, I have had my fair share and then some of errors in the kitchen.  I hope that old Edison suffered fewer injuries in his quest than I have in mine.  But I always keep trying. 

Which makes me want to illustrate my point with some interesting, and possible entertaining, real-life quotes from my very own kitchen:

"I'm having a hard time deciding if it looks more like barf, or baby diarrhea…".

"Honey, can you come help me put my finger back together?".

"It's the alarm company.  What's the code for fire again?".

"If you don't bring me more eggs, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cry.".

"Interesting.  I've never had crunchy oatmeal before.".

"There isn't any of YOU in that salsa, is there?".

"Look, honey, it can be a loaf of bread OR a lethal weapon!".

"Well, technically, it used to be an eggplant."

"You can take over cutting up the veggies once I've cut myself.".

"Dinner will be ready about 30 minutes after the smoke alarm goes off.".

"Well, it was mostly just an experiment.".

"I thought this was supposed to be non-stick.".

"I never realized you could burn water.  Until now.".

"Even the garbage disposal won't eat this!".

I guess my main point is, you have to keep trying.  After all, you've gotta eat!  And if I can keep going after the loaves that didn't rise, the smoke that stings my eyes, and the little lost bits and pieces of my fingers sacrificed to the Kitchen Gods…  Well, you can't help but have more successes and less errors!

DING! DING! DING!

Thanks to all!  We have reached 1,000 views in under 2 months  :)  Here's to a GREAT 2011...  Hope I can share some of it with you!

A Kept Woman

Right now, I am not working, at least not in the traditional sense of the word.  I am a KEPT WOMAN!  There are certainly both pros and cons to my current work situation.  

I recently resigned a teaching post that I both loved and loathed…  I absolutely adored the kids I taught, and the school I was at.  But teaching is inherently stressful.  It sounds so nice to have your summers off, but the rest of the school year definitely makes up for it.

Deadlines in a school system are hard-and-fast.  When your grades have to be in, there is NO leeway.  The way grades are reported anymore depend on a complex computer system run at the county level, that seems to involve quite a bit of luck and perhaps a little voodoo.  And if your grades are late, the entire county shuts down.  You simply wouldn't believe how fast an administrator can get up in your grill if you don't keep the schedule.

To be able to do this, you have to keep all your regular grades up-to-date.  This means that when you give a weekly test, quiz, and homework to your students, you have approximately 350 to 400 papers to grade each week.  This, of course, could at least partially be completed in your 45 minute planning block each day, IF you didn't have to call parents and attend meeting upon meeting upon meeting.

Added to that, your "summer off" generally includes some teaching summer school, some Graduate classes to fulfill your continuing education requirements, and at least one week of "in-service" where you return to school to ready your classroom, plan your new classes, and attend meeting upon meeting upon meeting.

This all quickly reduces your "summers off from about 7 weeks to approximately 3 days.  You can generally fit in a nice long weekend at the beach -- a whole week with some really creative planning!

So, after many years of teaching, and missing family weddings and visits with our kids in Sweden, the dust gathering on the two books I have been writing, and a few really cool business trips my husband could have taken me on, we (yes, we decided jointly) decided that I should resign my position to allow me time to pursue other interests.

This basically makes me a kept woman.  Oh!  The stigma associated with that, for a child of the 80's with not one but two degrees, and over 25 years of work experience!  It wouldn't seem so awful, had I resigned to raise a family.  But I am only a part-time mom now.

So what is it like, to be my husband's dependent?  How can I rationalize this, give up my financial security, my freedom?  Well, it really hasn't come to that.  Certainly there are both positive and negative aspects to the whole situation.

I guess the pros are that I can make my own hours; I can work in my pajamas most of the time; I can pursue what I want, when I want; and I don't have to ask or tell anyone if I need a sick day, personal day, mental health day, or just want to get out of town for a little while.

I can also make doctor's appointments during regular business hours.  I can grocery shop when the stores are empty.  And I get lots more time with my husband!  The best thing of all, though, is being able to leave the country for an extended stay with our two precious little ones.

The biggest downside, as anyone would imagine, are the loss of income.  I didn't lose insurance of course because I am on my husband's policy.  And luckily for me, I had relatively few bills before I resigned.  My car is paid for, my credit card balances minimal, and my student loans much smaller than most.

Another downside, though, is that I can make my own schedule, work in my pajamas, and pursue what I want, when I want.  Yes, I just listed those as benefits BUT…  You really have to be quite self-disciplined to get anything done with this much freedom!

I have found that I really need to have a routine.  I have also found that keeping a routine imposed on me by others, is much easier to keep than one I have made for myself.  

A good example of this is illustrated by my damned alarm clock, which I have always loathed.  In the past, with a job outside of the home, it merely was there to annoy me out of bed every morning.  Now, should it fail to get the job done because the back of my mind realizes I do not, in fact, have 100+ teenagers waiting for me and depending on me, I sometimes hit snooze way too many times.  The alarm continues to sound at a regular interval, however it has now taken on this mocking tone, as if to say, "Man, you really ARE lazy!  Can't you get up and at least do SOMETHING?".

Another problem is being able to work in your pajamas.  I have to say, on the rare occasion that I do jump right out of bed when the alarm sounds, I sometimes get going on my "work" and forget to bathe and change until well into the afternoon.  This can be a bit embarrassing when the UPS man shows up at 4pm and you answer the door in fuzzy bunny slippers, your hair standing up on end.

And being able to pursue anything you want, when you want, is a double-edged sword that the adult with ADD will continually fall upon.  I start to write about something, and it makes me remember something I didn't do.  So I get up, and I notice something that needs to be cleaned and forget again what it was I meant to do.  

Then I get hungry, and I go to the fridge to get a snack and see something interesting in there, and pretty soon, I've started cooking something.  And halfway through that, I'll remember what I forgot and go do it, until the smoke alarm reminds me about that latest recipe I had begun to test out.  At which point, I need to clean something again, reminding me that I was in the middle of writing an article…

I also never seem to work exercise into my schedule.  It would seem much of this time I had earmarked for exercising, now that I should be well-rested and have such freedom, has in fact been spent cooking.  Which of course means I need more exercise than ever!

Another "con" to add to the list is, I worry that if I fail on the front of writing, I will have put myself at a bit of a disadvantage when it comes to returning to my career.  Although I must confess, this is the least of my concerns right now -- teachers are in demand, and I can always pick up more tutoring jobs if I so desire.

So, how do I feel about being a stay-at-home wife and part-time mother?  Well, I have to say that my husband makes it much easier than I thought it would be.  I am not expected to have an "allowance".  I am not expected to tackle housework on my own.  And we really do appreciate the extra time together.

I think the most important thing for me, though, is to be available to spend time with our girls, any time the opportunity presents itself.  Sure, it would be nice to be like my husband, and to have a job where I was not only indispensable, but where I could telecommute…  But until I reach that point in MY career, this is far and away the best option.

The kids are only small once, and I'm sure not going to do a half-baked job at being there for them!  It's all about the priorities.

What's the Fuss Over Plastics?

BPA, or Bisphenol-A, is a compound used to harden plastics.  It is found in polycarbonate plastics used in food packaging, like plastic bottles, but also in epoxy resins used to coat cans.  It is also a synthetic estrogen.

If you haven't already read about synthetic estrogen in your food, please see my earlier post, http://swedishchefinva.blogspot.com/2010/11/very-important-post-about-beef.html.  But basically, synthetic hormones disrupt the correct functioning of our endocrine system, and can lead to increased instances of reproductive problems, diabetes, obesity, and certain types of cancers, to name a few.

So, one question is, where is this BPA stuff, and how do I avoid it?

Many manufacturers are now aware that people don't want to ingest BPA, and manufacturers of things like baby bottles and water bottles now tend to label BPS-free products -- so look for these.

Some canned food manufacturers are also getting the hint.  Try to buy things in glass jars instead of in aluminum cans.  Although the lids may contain trace amounts of BPA, the glass is BPA-free and you will lessen your possible exposure greatly!  Eden Foods now uses mainly BPA-free cans, and Muir Glen is now packaging some of their products in BPA-free cans as well.

You could also switch to buying fresh or frozen vegetables.  This is really difficult when it comes to tomatoes, so be aware:  Even if you can your own, some of the lids in home-canning products contain BPA.

As far as things we buy in plastic, recyclable containers give you a big clue.  Containers marked with the #7 will contain BPA.  Containers marked #1, #2, #4 and #5 are BPA free.

If you are worried about BPA in your home cooking, try buying some Pyrex microwave cookware.  They have glass-like bodies and BPA-free lids.  Ziploc brand plastic wrap, Saran brand plastic wrap, and GladWare storage containers are all BPA-free as well, as are Brita water pitchers.

If you are still worried about the plastics in your home, such as phthalates and BPA, there is some good reading at:

http://www.ewg.org/featured/218

http://www.earthresource.org/campaigns/capp/human-studies.html

http://www.earthresource.org/campaigns/capp/bottled-water.html

http://stats.org/stories/2008/the_risks_phthalates_mar24_08.html

http://www.examiner.com/green-living-in-national/green-living-101-what-is-bpa-and-how-do-i-avoid-it

A Link for YOU!

Shoot the Messenger

How Do I Feel Guilty?

Let me count the ways clinical depression makes me feel guilty…  Many people do not understand depression, and one of the most common feelings associated with this DISEASE is extreme guilt.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we KNOW we have wonderful friends and family, we KNOW our spouses and children love us, and we know they want us to be well.  We KNOW we should feel thankful for having these terrific people around us, and we would really like to be more happy and more fun to be around.  But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we KNOW we aren't suffering from Cancer, we KNOW there are many people going through life-threatening illnesses and literally fighting for their lives.  We feel like we should be more appreciative that we aren't bent over with arthritis, or on the list for a transplant.  We would really like to take better advantage of our physical well-being.  But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we KNOW we aren't giving 100% at work, much of the time -- or at least, we aren't giving 100% of what a non-Depressed version of ourselves could give.  We feel bad about not pulling our own weight, about needing more personal time, and having more doctor's appointments.  We'd really like to be that cheery, organized co-worker who really plays their part in the team.  But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we know that we have really let ourselves go.  Once upon a time, we too were young and good-looking and maybe even physically fit.  Anymore, it seems like a struggle to get out of bed, let alone go to the gym, iron our clothes, or put on makeup.  My roots are showing, and I could use a good dye job and a manicure.  I'd really like to take better care of myself, because I know I'd feel better if I looked better.   But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we don't live up to our intellectual potential.  We could probably have completed that last college degree by now, if only we weren't so busy feeling sorry for ourselves and sleeping all the time.  We would probably make more money in a better job, and be able to do more financially for our families, if we could get back into school or training.   But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we know that you think we are lazy, that we should just "snap out of it", and that we really are just being big cry babies.  We KNOW you feel this way, because we, too, feel this way.  We'd really like to be able to explain to you how this crushing weight feels, and what it's like to fight it for years on end.  o do more financially for our families, if we could get back into school or training.   But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

Yes, we the Depressed feel very guilty about our condition…  And this is a sign of the stigma attached to this DISEASE that even many of our own Doctors do not understand.  If you have lived with, cared for, loved, or BEEN one of "us", you probably know all of these things already.  

So, how do you help ease the guilt?

Well, on a personal level, next time you see someone who clearly had a hard time getting out of bed this morning, who skipped their shower and maybe stayed in sweatpants all day…  Tell them you UNDERSTAND, and that it is the DISEASE.  Remind them it isn't their fault…  But just like with any disease, you will have good and bad days, but you still have to keep up with your treatment.  And rely on the people who do understand!

On a larger level…  Post the link to this article on your social networking site, or email the link to a friend.  Or find another article you like, and post the link to that article on your social networking site, or email the link to a friend.  But find something you think furthers the cause of people treating Depression as the DISEASE it is, and make your feelings on the matter known.

The more people who refuse to let others think Depression is "all in the head" of the suffered, the better off we all will be.

Thanks for reading!  Oh, and just so no one is worried...  I am feeling really good, the holidays never bum me out.  I just had the most wonderful visit with family...  I hope all my readers are happy and healthy too!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Wishing all a wonderful joy-filled day.

OK, One SMALL Post...

I was thinking about the whole debate...  No, not the great Toilet Paper debate, I think we have that one covered hehehe...  But the whole Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas debate.


OK, so, I like to wish people a Merry Christmas.  I guess some people wanted to be more "politically correct" than that, and sort of recognize that there are many holidays that get celebrated around this time of year.


Certainly there is Christmas, but we all know there is also Hanukkah and Kwanza, and every so often (not coming soon, but it does happen) Ramadan falls in the winter months as well.  And it would feel I guess to some that, to indiscriminately wish everyone a Merry Christmas, without a clue as to whether or not they celebrate,  might seem, well, overbearing.


Then I started to think about this:  What if someone wished me a Happy Hanukkah.  Would I be offended?    Absolutely not!  I think I would be pleasantly surprised to hear that.  And the same would go for Happy Kwanza or Joyous Eid.  


IN FACT, I think I would be really touched, because I wouldn't see that as an affront to my inherent Christianity, but more of an extension of Good Will that crossed all religious boundaries.  I have to figure that if someone wished me a happy holiday of any variety, they would be doing so because they really wished me joy on a day that was special to them.


And so, I have made up my mind -- it's Merry Christmas to all, from me!

Happy Christmahaunukkawanza!

The Swedish Chef is taking a few days off here to be with family for the holidays, and sincerely hopes you can do the same!


Happy Holiday of whatever sort you celebrate, and wishing you all a healthy, happy, and prosperous New Year!

There's NOTHING Wrong

What is Wrong with Government Today?

The US population as of November 2010 identifies itself as 36% Republican, 34.7% Democrat, and 29.3% as not affiliated with either major party.  

At the beginning of 111th Senate, there were 48% Democrats, 49% Republicans, and 2% independents, with 1% vacant, and in the House of Representatives we had 54% Democrats and 46% Republicans.

We also in 2010 (Gallup) 42% of the population who consider themselves as Conservatives, 35% who consider themselves Moderates, and 20% who consider themselves Liberal.

So, what is wrong with our Government today?  Why is it that they seem to never get anything done?  And why is it that the majority of US citizens are unhappy with their governmental representatives most of the time?

Well, I would venture to say there is nothing wrong with our system.

What we have right now is a split between about 35% each of Republicans and Democrats, with another 30% of the country not wanting to go on-record as claiming either hot mess of a political party as their own.

Most of our Republicans are Conservatives, and as such they really don't want there to be anything that Liberals or Democrats might consider as "progress" passing as a law.

Our general Conservative Republicans, after all, can be summarized with some of the following, disturbing statistics.

These folks are twice as likely to own guns than the rest of the population, with the main reason stated for ownership being to protect themselves against crime.  This means that about 27% of Conservative/Republican households have guns, even though only about 2% of all US citizens will become the victim of a violent crime in their lifetime.

Our Conservative Republican friends also have founded the Tea Party movement, best known for not caring about really silly issues like nuclear disarmament or the environment, preferring to focus on pressing things like all those welfare mothers who keep having abortions on the taxpayers' dime…  And of course also generally found to be incapable of spelling, and 72% of whom are not sure whether or not Hawaii is in fact a State.

About half of our Democrats are Liberal or Moderate, and they can't seem to agree on what progress IS.  Some think everyone should have "free" healthcare, having not yet discovered that there is no such thing as a "free lunch".  Others are proponents of gay marriage, the vast majority of which are not in fact homosexual, but can't pass up the opportunity to bait the Conservative Republican crowd.

And then there are those 30% who just don't want to be pigeon-holed, who have a giant anti-authority streak, or who just don't really know enough about the "issues" to feel like they can make an informed decision.

Of this 30%, quite a few are older Americans who consider themselves to be Conservative, and generally vote Republican due to the misconception that the average Republican candidate wants to protect their Social Security benefits, as if he or she has any idea what it costs to buy food, medicine, or an "average" American home.

Several of them are the highly educated, the intelligentsia of our nation, who like to vote for Independents because God forbid, what other way are they going to show what free-thinkers they are, thus once again proclaiming their intellectual superiority to the rest of us poor working slobs.

And then some of this 30% are disinterested armchair activists who like to support a cause on their Facebook pages, but who find that any actual effort to understand or espouse some political concern is just too much to ask of them, if it's going to involve such nonsense as getting out of the house to vote or reading something other than the Horoscope that pops up on their home page on the Internet.  

These are the youth of America, who have discovered that while complaining loudly is very easy, actually doing anything to improve your position as the folks who are doomed to chronic unemployment, who will never be able to own their own home, whose first child will be born while they still live at home in their parents' basement, and for whom Social Security will no longer exist.

So, what we have is a spread of the socio-political and economic map of the citizens of our country that literally stretches from one end of the spectrum to the other (see chart).

So, gentle reader, I ask you…  Where in this chart do you see anyone getting, say, a two-thirds majority on any particular Congressional vote?  If we take the four most populated groups and hope they can agree on a Health Care bill, then what we are saying is that Liberal Democrats and Conservative Republicans are going to have to agree.  Clearly, this isn't a generally safe bet.

So we begin at the left of the chart, and by the time we have acquired 67% of the vote, our Gay Liberals and Welfare Moms have to agree with most of our Liberal Republicans.  So scratch that -- let's begin at the right.  For our quorum here, we need Tea Partiers and Reactionaries to agree with Conservative Democrats.

You can see that, no matter what we try to accomplish, not only is a bill going to be very bland, but if it is to pass at all, it's probably going to truly appeal to half the Representatives who voted for it, thus leaving fully one third of their constituents unhappy and another one third of everyone whose Representative didn't vote for it, also unhappy.

What we have here is not a tyranny of the majority or of the minority.  We have a tyranny of the Polarized.

And many of you think our Government has ceased to work, however I would propose that it is working in EXACTLY the way it ought to, given our voting preferences.  We can't find one single issue in Congress today, that two thirds of the American people can agree upon.  Therefore, there is no majority consensus and nothing new is enacted.

Some might go as far as to say that this is in fact a problem.  We are in the midst of a recession, suffering from unemployment and have massive concerns with our financial institutions.  We are hostages of our own energy consumption, possess enough weapons of mass destruction to destroy the World ten times over, and have proud veterans living on the streets.  We are losing ground to China in our economy and education.  Some would say this needs to be fixed!

I on the other hand feel that, if you want a truly diverse population in terms of race, religion, gender, political views, intellectual achievement and financial means, this is exactly what you are going to get.  It's simply the socio-economic and political price of true, American-style diversity.

Sure, we could equalize the finances of the country by upping taxes on the wealthy, and using that money to invest in our manufacturing and educational futures.  We could even try to level the playing field by upping the minimum wage and ensuring adequate health care for all.  We could EVEN try to alleviate the differences in education by reinventing our school systems so that at a minimum, students would know how to spell "morons" and would recognize the names of at least 48 out of 50 States.

But all these things, my friends, cost money.  Money that could much better be spent on foreign wars that not only perpetuate our dependence on foreign oil and loans, but that provide unlimited opportunities for companies whose major share-holders sit in elected office.  Money that could well go to sealing off our borders with Giant fences a-la the Maginot Line of French fame in WWI.  It would take a major re-distribution of wealth from, well the wealthy to the not-so-wealthy.

And guess who gets to vote on THOSE issues?  And what percent of their constituents, then, would be happy with the changes?

A Blog About Toilet Paper

OK, before I begin, I should state that I am really only writing this article because I thought the title would be really funny.  I just like saying "great toilet paper debate, great toilet paper debate…".  Apparently we really DON'T ever outgrow potty humor.

An interesting fact is that although primitive toilets have been noted at archaeological sites as old as 2500 BC, the invention of the "modern" toilet is credited to one John Crapper in the 18th century (leading us of course to call the restroom both the John and the Crapper…  Apparently we really DON'T ever outgrow potty humor.), but was probably actually invented by a British watchmaker around 1596, for Queen Elizabeth I.  It wasn't until 1857, however, that toilet paper was invented, however, begging the question of what people DID for nearly 300 years when using the Crapper.

I have read a number of articles on the subject of the "Debate", which centers around how you hang a roll of toilet paper on the paper holder.  The two options are of course TOWARD or AWAY, as pictured below.

                                                                        TOWARD                                             AWAY

At first I was shocked to find that most people had a preference.  Being someone who completely refuses to own a sponge because of the germs they collect, and who has determined that there is a precise order in which you put the silverware in the dishwasher, you would think I had a preference along these lines as well.  But sadly, I just always figured it was a "crap shoot" as to which way the roll faced.

You will note, I could not resist the use of the parentheses there.  Apparently we really DON'T ever outgrow potty humor.

But as I have come to understand, not only do most people think there is a correct way and an incorrect way, most people feel that the correct way is the opposite from what I would have guessed.  And there is great debate to be found all over the Internet concerning types of toilet paper roll hangers and how to correctly fill them.

Having now read dozens of these articles, I am interested to complete this article and research whether or not there is a correct way to use a wash cloth, vegetable peeler, funnel, doorknob, or bar of soap.  But I digress…

A lot of thought has been put into the types of roll hangers, which include sunken, flush-mounted (Hehehe they said flush.  Apparently we really DON'T ever outgrow potty humor.), hanging-arm, covered, spring-loaded and gravity loaded.  Additionally, there is also consideration of the one-handed and two-handed tear.

Most arguments seemed to center around cleanliness, which if you have read my previous articles, you KNOW the roll-holder could well be the grungiest place in your household, right up there with the little area rug right in front of your kitchen sink where we all keep our salmonella farm.  But again I digress…  The common thinking here is that the toilet paper should be touching as little of the holder or wall as possible to decrease the amount of germs it comes in contact with, before it, uh, wipes your ass.  Well, I'm all for less germs, even if they are on my backside.  This goal would necessitate a "TOWARD" orientation of your toilet paper roll.

Another popular argument is the line-of-sight rule, where most people seem concerned that there will generally be much confusion in the middle of the night, when we all might get up in the dark to use the restroom and temporarily forget how a toilet paper roll holder operates.  This argument would state that you want the most amount of available paper to be in your line of sight, also necessitating a "TOWARD" orientation.

One of the problems I have with this orientation is of course the presence of felines in our household.  I would like to think that, even in the dark of night when I am at my most confused, I am more capable of operating a toilet paper roll holder than my cat.  Because of this, I would have to invert this line-of-sight argument to try to hide as much of the paper from my 4-legged friends as possible.

Another consideration is the amount of toilet paper actually used.  In general, neat-freakishness aside, I feel we used entirely too much of this ingenious commodity in my household.  Therefore, having a roll whose available tissue is actually more in contact with the wall, would be a good thing.  In this case, the drag produced by the usual one-handed tear on a roll in contact with the wall, would cause us to use less sheets per swipe than a free-flowing roll.

Add to this the fact that, being slightly OCD and thus actually cleaning my roll-holder; and the fact that, after all, it's my bum I'm wiping here, and it's hard to imagine anything more dirty…  I then have to disagree with conventional wisdom here, and say that I feel the roll should be facing "AWAY".

There is a great video about this entire topic available at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owCElE3YkHk

HEJ! to Slovenia!

Welcome to our blog...  Hope you enjoy it!

Needed for Holidays (recipe)

Martini:


1T Dry Vermouth
2 oz. Gin
Crushed Ice
2 Olives


Put ice in glass, followed by Vermouth and Gin.  Cover with another glass and shake.  Add olives and enjoy!


Dry Martini:

1T Dry Vermouth

2 oz. Gin

Crushed Ice

2 Olives

Put ice in glass, followed by Vermouth.  Cover with another glass and shake.  Pour out Vermouth, add Gin, and stir lightly.  Add olives and enjoy!

Extra Dry Martini:

1T Dry Vermouth

2 oz. Gin

Crushed Ice

2 Olives

Put ice in glass.  Wave Vermouth bottle over ice.  Put aside and add Gin.  Cover with another glass and shake.  Add olives and enjoy!

WHOOO HOOOOO SINGAPORE!

Welcome and we hope you enjoy our blog!

Ben Franklin and Frank Sinatra

New Year's Eve is almost upon us, giving me pause to ponder the human condition.  I am of course a fan of frequenting a certain Saloon on a Friday (on 10th in Arlington), where I have the opportunity weekly to consider our species' tenuous relationship with the alcoholic beverage. 

Benjamin Franklin, in all his wisdom, once proclaimed that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!". I couldn't agree more. I would actually take this to the next level, and say that beer is proof that there is a God... 

Frank Sinatra once quipped that he "feels sorry for people who don't drink... When THEY wake up in the morning, that's the best they'll feel all day.". Again, were truer words ever spoken (NOTE: If you are nodding in agreement, it may well be an indication that you haven't tried sobriety in a while!)? 

One of the many things that puzzles me is the distinctly American and Puritanical obsession with NOT becoming drunk. I have so many times seen some young 20-something, barely able to stand and with dribble on their chin, proclaim their sobriety. 

All I can help but think is, "Honey, after 11 long island iced teas, you really MUST be doing SOMETHING WRONG!!!"! 

In Europe, the pursuit of drunken folly is seen more as the sport that it truly is. Wine is drunk at meals with small children present. Entire countries dedicate a whole month to the celebration of beer. Need I say more? 

Another odd occurrence is when someone asks you "Can I get you something to drink?". My response (at least inside my head) tends to be "Do I still live and breathe?". 

A favorite is "Have you had too much to drink?". Clearly, if you expect a response, the answer is surely "NO!". You will KNOW when I've had too much to drink, because you will recognize the need for a wheelbarrow to cart my alcohol-sodden ass to the curb. Unless, of course, upon the moment of my losing consciousness, you have inadvertently broken my fall.... 

I will close by quoting my dear old Dad, who is quite unknowingly quoting Jimmy Buffet, when he says "It's 5:00 somewhere...". Most likely at my favorite pub in the good old UK.  It's clear that cutting down on the alcohol, isn't going to be my main New Year's resolution!

Hey, Spread the Word...

I know you guys reading this realize...  But sadly many US citizens do not seem to be privy to the fact that the Swiss are NOT from Sweden.  Pass it on!

Play with Your Food

You know, I play with my food and I always have.  There's never been anything quite as fun as something you can eat with your hands, like a sandwich or pizza -- unless it's something you have to build yourself before you eat it with your hands -- like a taco!

Sometimes I play with recipes.  Like my pumpkin swirl cheesecake.  I was sitting around just before Thanksgiving, knowing that my family wanted pumpkin pie with their dinner.  But I'm not 100% keen on pumpkin pie.  I mean, it's OK but I like a good apple crisp or pecan pie better.  And then there is cheesecake.  Mmmmm, now that would be yummy.  

Then it hit me, that if you had cream cheese on pumpkin bread, it would be just lovely.  So, why not make a cheesecake that had a nice swirl of pumpkin-pie-like batter running through it?

I quickly went online, looking for recipes.  I have a favorite cheesecake recipe already, so I was looking for a pumpkin swirl recipe that was close to this treasured classic.  And I couldn't find what I was looking for.

So I made my own.  I combined my favorite cheesecake recipe, scaled down a little with the best pumpkin pie recipe I could find, also scaled down a little…  And voila!

And I was making cream of tomato soup, or tomato bisque, being a huge fan of the type served at La Madeleine…  Only with a twist that I thought any good bisque should include some cooking sherry.  And then this lemon on my counter-top called out to me, saying it sure would be nice to have a bit of lemon zest in that bisque.  

And the lemon was right, it was not only different and delicious, but it helped somehow to keep the bisque from separating.

Or the other night, when I had cooked some home-made egg rolls, and wondered what to do with the remaining wrappers.  I fell asleep thinking of this and of Middle Eastern food, and woke up with an idea for a dessert egg roll that would include some goat cheese, walnuts and dates.

Sometimes you stumble upon a combination of foods or spices that just seems to work well, even though it's not at all traditional.  And when you do, you should run with it!  You might be coming up with the next new thing.  Or it could be a complete disaster.  

Lately, I've been wondering if it would be possible to marinate some beef using coffee…  Hmm, that one might be a complete disaster.  But you KNOW I'm going to have to try!

Go ahead and take the risks.  Just make sure you have a back-up plan in case you wind up on the disaster side of the equation.  I do that too.  Only we hide the evidence!

Привет России!

A big hello to Russia, thank you for visiting our blog  --  We hope you enjoy it, and come back again!

Unfiltered Chef?

My husband insists that, in order to increase my readership, I need to be more controversial.  He doesn't make this assertion in a vacuum…  He is well aware of the ascorbic thoughts that go through my head at practically every moment of the day.

The thing is, after 40-some years of conditioning myself to bite my tongue, to stifle the urge to say what's on my mind -- to engage what my family calls my "filter"…  I just don't think the World is ready for my opinions.

A friend once remarked that we have to be careful "not to mistake [my] witty banter for bitchiness…".  Indeed.

My tongue has gotten me into plenty of trouble before.  One might be surprised how easy it is to move even a generally civilized man to want to hit a woman.  There are, however, a couple of times where I will allow certain controlled (dare I even suggest rehearsed?) remarks to escape.

One favorite is, when I see someone without proper license plates or hang tags, who clearly isn't handicapped, park in a handicapped spot.  My favorite quip is to yell after them, "Excuse me, I think those spaces are reserved for the PHYSICALLY handicapped!".  I have nearly been slugged on more than one occasion.

Or when you see someone's unattended children running and cavorting loudly through a crowded store, knocking into people and displays, I'm fond of shouting, "Do you even HAVE parents?  Have you been raised by wolves?".  Somehow after a remark like this, concerned parents materialize rapidly.

Related to this caper is to tell children in a crowded mall, zipping around on Heelys (those shoes with the roller-skate type wheels built into them), "Your parents don't love you, that is why they bought you those shoes!  They hope you are going to break your neck on them!"…  I once needed to run from Security after this remark!

Sometimes I wonder if a guy like Will Ferrell, Ron White, or Adam Sandler ever had these sorts of problem.  Not that I think I'M that funny, but you know, I'm sure even those guys have to have their "not that funny" moments too.  And it's a little hard to imagine Bob Saget or Howie Mandell saying these sorts of things.

Another good one is, in a grocery store or other place with a long line, when you see someone trying to sidle in ahead of others, pretending not to notice the line, I like to tap them on the shoulder and say, "Please, go ahead, cut in front of me.  I don't mind at all, and neither do these other 20 people who have been patiently waiting behind me like civilized human beings…".  This usually draws apologies and dagger-glances at the same time.  I pray no one follows me to my car one day.

And finally, when I see someone heckling some older, clearly immigrant cashier in a crowded store, to either hurry up or speak English or some other such bigoted and rude comment, I like to just tell them, "I'd like to see you do better.  In Bejing.".

No, I don't think the World is ready for my unfiltered opinions and observations.  Not just yet  -- and I'm not ready for it either.  Not unless I consistently leave the house in full body armor, anyway.

A Top Ten List

Ten Ways to Get Kicked Out of the Grocery Store

Go to the produce department and  pick up two grapefruit or cantaloupe.  Ask everyone who walks by, "Do these look even to you?  Does one seem bigger than the other?"…

Park your cart sideways in an aisle near a big display.  When no one is near you but there are people in the aisle, yell out "Ouch!  Can't you watch where you are going with that thing?"...

Go to the Customer Service desk and ask to borrow a pen.  Whip out a piece of paper and proceed to draw several pictures of Stewie from Family Guy, and ask which one looks more "realistic"…

Go into aisle 7 and yell at the top of your lungs, "Cleanup on aisle 6!  Cleanup on aisle 6!  You'd better bring a mop!"…

Load a cart with nothing but jars of pickles.  Walk up and down the aisles calling out "Stella?  Stellllaaaaaa?  Did you get that ice cream yet?"...

Take drumsticks with you to the store.  Go to the breakfast cereal aisle and proceed to play the drum solo from WipeOut on Tony the Tiger's face.

Read the ingredients on every can in the soup aisle, intermittently laughing and exclaiming "No WAY!"…

Go back to the produce aisle.  Whisper a conversation with the onions...

Stand in the checkout line behind a woman with the most unusual shoes you can find.  Exclaim loudly, "Oh my GAWD I have those exact shoes at home, aren't they just FABULOUS!!??!?!??!!" (Note:  works best if you are a man)…

Push an empty cart around the store as quickly as you can, doing sound effects from True Crime:  Streets of LA.

Please Nominate MEEEEEEeeeeee!

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Goes with the Last Post

Kitten Video #2

The Catsmas Tree

This is a Catsmas Tree.  You may be wondering what makes this tree different from a Christmas Tree.  Well, that's what I'm about to tell you...


Notice that this tree has no ornaments below waist level.  This is basically to prevent me from another morning like this morning, where I woke up to the sound of breaking glass, only to come down the stairs and see two shattered ornaments whose pieces had been strewn across the living room carpet, and one cat and one dog walking indiscriminately through the shards.  Which then lead me to simultaneously scream, start picking up broken glass, shoo away a cat and dog, all while lunging for the vacuum cleaner.


You will also notice our lovely tree skirt that, despite my best efforts to force it to lay flat, is in fact bunched up and pushed to one side of the tree.  This of course facilitates not only my constant watering of the tree, but the constant drinking of the tree water by said cat and dog, who now both seem to be wearing a crown of pine sap on the tops of their heads.


Unlike your standard Christmas Tree, the Catsmas Tree generally does not stay up until January 2nd, 3rd, or perhaps Valentine's Day (when of course it is the equivalent of a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree, having lost all it's needles), but will in fact be hauled down and placed curbside promptly on December 26th.  At which time I will be making groomer appointments for both pine-sap-crowned animals.

My Theory of Evolution

OK, so, I have read that Cro-Magnon man and Neanderthal existence overlapped, from a period of about 30,000 years ago until about 28,000 years ago. Neanderthal was the earlier of the two, and there remains much archaeological evidence for both early forms of homo-sapiens.

In addition, both Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal had larger brain sizes than modern Homo-Sapiens... Neanderthal, however, just seemed to disappear off the face of the earth about 28,000 years ago. There is no evidence to suggest that there was any conflict between Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal.

The theory is that Neanderthal died out, and that there is some "Missing Link" man that came into existence between this overlap period of 2,000 years. This Missing Link man is what eventually evolved into current Homo-Sapiens. Are we all following so far?

The problem is, there is absolutely no evidence of this Missing Link man. No skeletal remains, no tools or artifacts. We have to realize that we are looking at a MINISCULE portion of time here, less than 2,000 years, a mere blip in the history of the Earth and in evolution.

Still, NO evidence? And really, in the course of evolution, 2,000 years is just not enough time to make such a large leap as from Cro-Magnon to current Homo-Sapiens.

So what happened? 

Well, I happen to have a theory that it WAS in fact some alien life form, which visited Earth and then genetically engineered current Homo-Sapiens through cross-breeding.

I know that sounds rather out-there, but it would account for the lack of remains of Missing Link man, and the rapid and unexplained demise of Neanderthal.  I am guessing they only stayed about 10,000 years or so, when so-called "modern man" began to be aware of them, and that they were "different".

In addition, I would like to point out that modern man seems to be the only species on the planet unable to live in harmony with nature. We have to manipulate where our crops come from, instead of harvesting what is there naturally. We domesticate animals. And for shelter, we need to cut down or break up trees, rocks, etc., mix up clay to make bricks, and then put everything back together to form neat right angles and such.  ALIEN INFLUENCE!

Also, the earliest evidence of religion, an earlier form of Zoroastrianism, dates back to... You guessed it -- about 15,000 or 16,000 years ago. Even 7,000 years ago, there were writings describing early Zoroastrian thought, but about 5,500 years ago, this early religion was codified and somewhat streamlined into a monotheistic theology that is probably the origin of all modern religion.

If early man, though, never seemed to sense the presence of some higher power until this overlap of Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal, this too could be evidence of alien interference. Zoroastrianism maintains that there is a continual battle going on between "good" (order) and "evil" (chaos) that encompasses the entire UNIVERSE, and that man plays an active role in this conflict.

So, yeah, I think about 20,000 years ago, aliens landed and deemed Neanderthal biologically improbable. I believe that over a period of 2,000 years or so, they were systematically eliminated, and that Cro-Magnon man was chosen to interbreed with this more advanced form of life.

I think that this happens to explain why man made such a great evolutionary leap in a very short time, and it would also explain the absence of archaeological evidence of Missing Link man. He flew away in his spaceship!  I also believe that the origins of religion, and even the belief that a higher power inhabits the skies, are attributable to this visiting alien life form.

And oh, crap!  Someone just discovered where Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon actually co-existed.  There goes my theory!

Civilization Beneath Persian Gulf

Champagne Apple Butter

Ingredients:

• 1  can frozen apple juice concentrate, thawed
• 1/2 cup water
• 4 pounds Macintosh or Red Delicious apples - peeled, cored and chopped
• 3/4 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 cup champagne
• 1 TBSP ground cinnamon
• 1 tsp ground nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp ground cloves

Directions:

1. In a large saucepan, bring apple juice concentrate, champagne, and apples to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Stirring occasionally, simmer uncovered about 1 hour, until apples are easily mashed.
2. Mix dark brown sugar,  cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves into the apple mixture. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer uncovered 2 hours, stirring occasionally, until thickened. Transfer to sealed sterile containers, and cool at least 1 hour before serving.

Do You Really Wanna...

Last year, I reconnected with an old friend, only to discover that he was in fact the man of my dreams.  Earlier this year, we were married.  And after almost 18 months of living together and 8 months of marriage, the honeymoon period still isn't over.  

To those of you who know me, all of this was not only statistically improbable, but it also had fairy tale overtones.  My spouse and I are so great together it's disgusting!

The thing is, we are both in our 40's and both have children from previous marriages.  I was married young, and my daughter is grown.  At least in the sense that she has successfully completed high school, can drive a car, and can legally enter into a lease (if only we could convince her to leave the "nest").

My husband's two daughters are significantly younger, his youngest still only in pre-school.

The blending of families when someone re-marries always has the potential to be difficult.  Will your kids all get along?  And for us, the fact that his two, although American-born, now live in Sweden and speak primarily Swedish.

Our middle daughter, having gone to kindergarten in the US and being (and I'm not at all biased here) absolutely brilliant, observant, and having a near-photographic memory, is really quite adept with her English skills.

But for our youngest, well, that can be very difficult.  One can easily imagine that, when the four of us are together, she could feel very left-out were we to all resort to speaking English together.

Luckily, she is a really creative child who can easily entertain not only herself for long stretches of time, but can charm and entertain others for hours on end, even if you don't understand a word of what she is saying!

The thing is, just before we were married, my wonderful husband asked me, "Are you sure you want to do this all over again?".  Sure, the kids don't need diapering and they don't wake up in the middle of the night needing to be fed.

But there ARE still sibling squabbles, school plays, dance lessons, trips to amusement parks, and adolescence to get through.

The thing is, there are also bedtime stories, cookie baking, snuggle times, movie nights, family vacations, and birthday parties to get through.

And these are the children of the man I love with every ounce of my being.  Which is plenty, and growing it would seem daily!

So the thing is, I didn't just get a husband out of this deal.  I got two beautiful, unique little girls who color with me, play I Spy with me, dance and cuddle and tickle with me.  I got scraped knees and good report cards and arguments over toys and giant hugs when you least expect them.

In a very real sense, I gained the opportunity many wish for -- to do it all over again, knowing what I now know about being a parent.  And that I can summarize this way:  Love every minute of it, and never forget that one day, these will be amazing, wonderful, competent adults that you won't just be proud of -- they will be the ones for whose childhood past your heart aches, and whose hugs you miss the most.