Last year, I reconnected with an old friend, only to discover that he was in fact the man of my dreams. Earlier this year, we were married. And after almost 18 months of living together and 8 months of marriage, the honeymoon period still isn't over.
To those of you who know me, all of this was not only statistically improbable, but it also had fairy tale overtones. My spouse and I are so great together it's disgusting!
The thing is, we are both in our 40's and both have children from previous marriages. I was married young, and my daughter is grown. At least in the sense that she has successfully completed high school, can drive a car, and can legally enter into a lease (if only we could convince her to leave the "nest").
My husband's two daughters are significantly younger, his youngest still only in pre-school.
The blending of families when someone re-marries always has the potential to be difficult. Will your kids all get along? And for us, the fact that his two, although American-born, now live in Sweden and speak primarily Swedish.
Our middle daughter, having gone to kindergarten in the US and being (and I'm not at all biased here) absolutely brilliant, observant, and having a near-photographic memory, is really quite adept with her English skills.
But for our youngest, well, that can be very difficult. One can easily imagine that, when the four of us are together, she could feel very left-out were we to all resort to speaking English together.
Luckily, she is a really creative child who can easily entertain not only herself for long stretches of time, but can charm and entertain others for hours on end, even if you don't understand a word of what she is saying!
The thing is, just before we were married, my wonderful husband asked me, "Are you sure you want to do this all over again?". Sure, the kids don't need diapering and they don't wake up in the middle of the night needing to be fed.
But there ARE still sibling squabbles, school plays, dance lessons, trips to amusement parks, and adolescence to get through.
The thing is, there are also bedtime stories, cookie baking, snuggle times, movie nights, family vacations, and birthday parties to get through.
And these are the children of the man I love with every ounce of my being. Which is plenty, and growing it would seem daily!
So the thing is, I didn't just get a husband out of this deal. I got two beautiful, unique little girls who color with me, play I Spy with me, dance and cuddle and tickle with me. I got scraped knees and good report cards and arguments over toys and giant hugs when you least expect them.
In a very real sense, I gained the opportunity many wish for -- to do it all over again, knowing what I now know about being a parent. And that I can summarize this way: Love every minute of it, and never forget that one day, these will be amazing, wonderful, competent adults that you won't just be proud of -- they will be the ones for whose childhood past your heart aches, and whose hugs you miss the most.
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