A Hamster Tale

Write, write, write.  I do it every single day, you are thinking.  How can I stand this?  Don't I ever run out of ideas?  Run out of WORDS?  Will I ever shut up, you might be wondering…

Well, in short, no.  And one reason is this:  I read the news.

There is always something in there to get my brain working.  Whether it's weird news about genetic engineering of see-through frogs, food news about the chocolate-covered bacon craze, financial news about the Deficit Panel, or the latest politics like what the HECK is going on with transplants in Arizona.  

You might argue that "no news is good news," and I guess you could very well be right.

But, how about looking for some good news for a change?  Do a search on Gaza Surfer Girls.  Canadian Lottery Winners Donate Millions.  Buffalo Amateur Astronomer.  It's out there, but like everything else worthwhile, you have to do some work to get it.  So, occasionally I do just that.

Even if I were to run out of news to read, I grocery shop.  There are always a bunch of interesting new food ideas to think about (who KNEW that Wal-Mart sells beef tongue and tripe?), and all sorts of interesting people to observe (Lawrence at our local Safeway estimates that buying a chest freezer, would pay for itself in a few months). 

 If I get really, extremely bored, I go to Grand Mart and try to guess what all the little fishy-looking things in the styrofoam containers are, before I peek and read the labels.

And then, there is the question of kids and pets.  I marveled today that my otherwise VERY bright dog, can't distinguish between my cat's lazy morning "love bites" and the running-in-circles frenzy of rough play of the afternoon.  

Or I marvel at how our 4-year-old would have no problems leaving the house in an oversized sweatshirt, sparkly star tights, and cowgirl boots.  Or a tutu over jeans and a tee shirt.  Or, when you get right down to it, nothing but an accordion and a smile.

The real issue here is hamsters.  Yes, you read me right.  And no, I do not mean gerbils, mice, or guinea pigs.  I definitely mean hamsters.  I will try to explain.

I have an overactive brain that lends handily to an overactive imagination.  I have always been this way, it simply can't be helped.  I would stay up all night reading, or would wake in the middle of the night and jot down (on the notebook I always kept on my bedside table, just in case of nocturnal insights) a fully composed poem.  

Once, I had a dream in which I and a group of other students solved a mathematical simulation problem.  And when I woke up the next morning, I indeed called my entire simulation contest team and informed them of my "insight".  They would have thought I was completely insane, DREAMING a solution -- except that it was a sound solution.

Our team got honorable mention in the contest, and I was blessed forever with a friend's remark about the hamsters in my brain.  This friend of mine, who LUCKILY shall remain nameless, explained that it was like there were some hyperactive hamsters living in my head, and that even while I was sleeping, they were up there -- running, running, running on that wheel of theirs and churning out ideas.

I really like this idea, particularly because it does not in fact suggest that my hamsters are continually churning out GOOD ideas.  In fact, I would say that 99.5% of the ideas flying around up there, meet their demise on the floor of my brain like a spent cedar chip.

Luckily for me, though, those hamsters are very active, and seem to churn out a novel (to me,a byway) idea about once per minute, maybe even more.  Leading me to have, if not a GOOD idea, well, at least a NOT BAD idea a few times per hour.

And so I write.  Because one simply can't accomplish three NOT BAD ideas per hour, I have found.  So I write and save these ideas, anticipating that one day even hyperactive hamsters have to take a rest, and I will suffer a dearth of ideas, thus having idle time on my hands with which to make mayhem.

Oh, yes, I blog.  But I also keep lists.  How happy I am now to have a laptop that can go anywhere with me.  Back in The Day, I carried around a pen and wrote ideas on any handy scrap of paper I would find.  I would save them all in a box, and then when I had time, transfer the NOT BAD ideas to a notebook.

I shudder to think of how many NOT BAD ideas, may have dropped from a hole in a pocket, and blown away in the wind.

One day, I got a computer.  And my life forever transformed!  I could take all those napkins, scraps of paper bags, and torn-off corners from other peoples' notebook pages, and enter them into the computer.  I learned to use a spreadsheet, and later a database, to organize them.  What a step up!

And then the laptop.  No more scraps of paper!  Although I must admit, it looks a little funny with a 15" Macbook crammed into the front pocket of my jeans.

Even so, there is the answer to how long it will take me to run out of things to write about.  I'll be with you all as long as the hamsters will oblige, plus a few months worth of going through those saved NOT BAD ideas on The List.

I hope that doesn't ruin your day!