Benjamin Franklin, in all his wisdom, once proclaimed that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!". I couldn't agree more. I would actually take this to the next level, and say that beer is proof that there is a God...
Frank Sinatra once quipped that he "feels sorry for people who don't drink... When THEY wake up in the morning, that's the best they'll feel all day.". Again, were truer words ever spoken (NOTE: If you are nodding in agreement, it may well be an indication that you haven't tried sobriety in a while!)?
One of the many things that puzzles me is the distinctly American and Puritanical obsession with NOT becoming drunk. I have so many times seen some young 20-something, barely able to stand and with dribble on their chin, proclaim their sobriety.
All I can help but think is, "Honey, after 11 long island iced teas, you really MUST be doing SOMETHING WRONG!!!"!
In Europe, the pursuit of drunken folly is seen more as the sport that it truly is. Wine is drunk at meals with small children present. Entire countries dedicate a whole month to the celebration of beer. Need I say more?
Another odd occurrence is when someone asks you "Can I get you something to drink?". My response (at least inside my head) tends to be "Do I still live and breathe?".
A favorite is "Have you had too much to drink?". Clearly, if you expect a response, the answer is surely "NO!". You will KNOW when I've had too much to drink, because you will recognize the need for a wheelbarrow to cart my alcohol-sodden ass to the curb. Unless, of course, upon the moment of my losing consciousness, you have inadvertently broken my fall....
I will close by quoting my dear old Dad, who is quite unknowingly quoting Jimmy Buffet, when he says "It's 5:00 somewhere...". Most likely at my favorite pub in the good old UK. It's clear that cutting down on the alcohol, isn't going to be my main New Year's resolution!
No comments:
Post a Comment