Ten Ways to Get Kicked Out of the Grocery Store
Go to the produce department and pick up two grapefruit or cantaloupe. Ask everyone who walks by, "Do these look even to you? Does one seem bigger than the other?"…
Park your cart sideways in an aisle near a big display. When no one is near you but there are people in the aisle, yell out "Ouch! Can't you watch where you are going with that thing?"...
Go to the Customer Service desk and ask to borrow a pen. Whip out a piece of paper and proceed to draw several pictures of Stewie from Family Guy, and ask which one looks more "realistic"…
Go into aisle 7 and yell at the top of your lungs, "Cleanup on aisle 6! Cleanup on aisle 6! You'd better bring a mop!"…
Load a cart with nothing but jars of pickles. Walk up and down the aisles calling out "Stella? Stellllaaaaaa? Did you get that ice cream yet?"...
Take drumsticks with you to the store. Go to the breakfast cereal aisle and proceed to play the drum solo from WipeOut on Tony the Tiger's face.
Read the ingredients on every can in the soup aisle, intermittently laughing and exclaiming "No WAY!"…
Go back to the produce aisle. Whisper a conversation with the onions...
Stand in the checkout line behind a woman with the most unusual shoes you can find. Exclaim loudly, "Oh my GAWD I have those exact shoes at home, aren't they just FABULOUS!!??!?!??!!" (Note: works best if you are a man)…
Push an empty cart around the store as quickly as you can, doing sound effects from True Crime: Streets of LA.
Love this! I just know the produce folks hate to see me coming. If I'm paying their prices, I want just the right one & proceed to touch, squeeze & smell.
ReplyDeleteLOL Shannon, I have to control what comes out of my mouth 24/7 because I'm always having thoughts like this. I'm lucky my local grocery store workers have come to know me!
ReplyDelete