You know, there is only so far one can fall into the depths of despair and not feel a little silly. Many people who know me very well, would say I've had a bit of a rough year. So many personal mishaps and dramas on so many levels. Friends have said I am strong, I will get through this tough time. People close to me say I am reacting naturally to a series of terrible situations.
Then again, I have had the great good fortune to be born into a country that is amongst the strongest, richest, and freest in the World. I can't say I haven't gone a full day hungry. I could well argue that there have been times when I didn't know how or even if I would be able to buy groceries next week, or keep the electricity on next month. These things have happened.
But I have NEVER been without a place to go, to have a meal or a shower or even nice, cool air conditioning, when things got rough.
I have never known the fear of wondering if I would wake up the next morning, because my living situation was so precarious that I could be killed at any time -- by a criminal, a terrorist, or some government agent unhappy with something I have done or said.
I was born with all my limbs intact and functional. They remain so to this day.
In fact, I was able to receive a first-rate education. I was even lucky enough to have a family that impressed upon me the importance and significance of this.
I have no known terminal diseases. And I even have access to healthcare, should I ever need it.
I have been vaccinated. I am regularly nourished. I am safe. I am sane. Well, mostly. And I have friends and family who are similarly blessed, and do not take it for granted.
The fact that I have a job and a car, I need to remind myself, are the icing on the very lovely albeit delicate confection that is the charmed life I have thus far lead.
The fact that I am free is a blessing bestowed upon me at great cost to many.
When you get right down to it, I have no reason to feel dejected, disheartened, or depressed at any time. If one lives in a safe and free World, has their health and family... Then any other problem we could be faced with, is somewhat artificial.
Not to say that we don't all feel the pain of loss at times. Not to say that it isn't very real, to lose someone close to you. But how many times have we, in the Free and Industrialized World, honestly have had to come to grips with a loss that was unjust and untimely? Can we not imagine the people living under this threat daily? Can we not see all we DO have?
I rebuke myself. It is, in fact, a wonderful life.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Silly Questions!
Someone asked me a really silly question the other day. Now, I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything. But I guess people tend to think of me as pretty smart. And so, when you are pretty smart and have some college degrees and even some varied job experience, I suppose people wonder why you would want to make $12 an hour, working with little kids who spit up on you.
Basically, I was asked, hey, if you are so smart, why are you so POOR?
And you know, that question sort of answers itself, doesn't it?
I've had engineering jobs and I've had management jobs and I made more than the "national average" from a very young age. And you know what? It didn't make me any happier. I used to play that "get ahead" game, but the problem with that is, what IS it we are all actually trying to get ahead OF?
Most people would argue that it's the bills we want to get ahead of. But really, who MADE the bills? I would argue that, if you are trying to "get ahead", the only thing you are going to get ahead of is yourself.
You get a promotion, and a raise with it, and pretty soon, you can cover the bills fine for a few months. But then you decide that you need to replace that 10-year-old car that runs fine, because SOME day it is going to break down, and darn it, you work HARD, you deserve that new car. Then you start thinking you haven't been out to dinner vey much recently, and there is a cool new cell phone you want... Or maybe it's that you want your kids in private school, but it's always SOMETHING.
So you work even harder for that next promotion, and raise, and pretty soon you have it and you're working 60+ hours a week, you're all stressed out about the NEXT step, and you have completely forgotten, in the mean time, to LIVE YOUR LIFE.
You get caught up in watching the trees whizzing past you a mile a minute, on the highway of life. And you not only can't see the destination, but you miss all the nice stuff on the way.
No, sir, that life is not for me.
I don't need a 2000-square-foot house, a new car, fancy shoes or even high-speed internet. That isn't what makes me happy. And if I were to walk down the street in my town and have everyone look, and say "There goes that rich chick," that wouldn't be what makes me happy, either.
And when I get to the end of my life, is someone going to think: Hey, she earned lots of dollars, and boought lots of things, in her lifetime -- she was a worthy person??? Is that how it's going to go?
I surely hope not!
What I really enjoy, is being around kids. I love it when an 11-month old gives me a huge belly laugh, or a 7-month old tries to hold his own bottle for the first time. I love it when a 14-year-old suddenly says "Oh, I GET it!" about a math problem. It's a blast when your 15-year-old takes the car out for the first time with their Learner's Permit. I love to see an 8-year-old move up to cover first base, or an 11-year-old learn to spike the ball.
These are the things I have the best memories of, in the past decade or so.
Would I trade millions of dollars earned, a nicer car, a bigger home, FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, to have these things in my life every day?
Not only would I, I would in a heartbeat. And in fact, I already HAVE.
I'm never going to amass a fortune, and I'm never going to "get ahead". I will always struggle to pay my bills. Retirement is going to be a hot mess. I OUGHT to be worried. VERY worried.
But one day I will look back and think, I helped 100's of kids to appreciate (or at least not fear) math. I helped oodles of kids have a true sense of accomplishment in learning a sport, and maybe, just maybe, some of them will lead a richer and healthier life for it. I have helped a bunch of babies on their way to things like walking and talking, and learning to share and to treat others with kindness.
It would be a little silly to think that, because I'm kinda smart, I was destined for some sort of "glory". It would be nice to win the lottery, but I know that isn't gonna happen. Really, though, who's to say this life of mine, ISN'T rather glorious?
So I have to answer a question with a question here: If YOU are so smart, why is it you keep running on the hamster wheel? Has it really helped you get where you are going? Or have you even thought about where it is you are going?
Basically, I was asked, hey, if you are so smart, why are you so POOR?
And you know, that question sort of answers itself, doesn't it?
I've had engineering jobs and I've had management jobs and I made more than the "national average" from a very young age. And you know what? It didn't make me any happier. I used to play that "get ahead" game, but the problem with that is, what IS it we are all actually trying to get ahead OF?
Most people would argue that it's the bills we want to get ahead of. But really, who MADE the bills? I would argue that, if you are trying to "get ahead", the only thing you are going to get ahead of is yourself.
You get a promotion, and a raise with it, and pretty soon, you can cover the bills fine for a few months. But then you decide that you need to replace that 10-year-old car that runs fine, because SOME day it is going to break down, and darn it, you work HARD, you deserve that new car. Then you start thinking you haven't been out to dinner vey much recently, and there is a cool new cell phone you want... Or maybe it's that you want your kids in private school, but it's always SOMETHING.
So you work even harder for that next promotion, and raise, and pretty soon you have it and you're working 60+ hours a week, you're all stressed out about the NEXT step, and you have completely forgotten, in the mean time, to LIVE YOUR LIFE.
You get caught up in watching the trees whizzing past you a mile a minute, on the highway of life. And you not only can't see the destination, but you miss all the nice stuff on the way.
No, sir, that life is not for me.
I don't need a 2000-square-foot house, a new car, fancy shoes or even high-speed internet. That isn't what makes me happy. And if I were to walk down the street in my town and have everyone look, and say "There goes that rich chick," that wouldn't be what makes me happy, either.
And when I get to the end of my life, is someone going to think: Hey, she earned lots of dollars, and boought lots of things, in her lifetime -- she was a worthy person??? Is that how it's going to go?
I surely hope not!
What I really enjoy, is being around kids. I love it when an 11-month old gives me a huge belly laugh, or a 7-month old tries to hold his own bottle for the first time. I love it when a 14-year-old suddenly says "Oh, I GET it!" about a math problem. It's a blast when your 15-year-old takes the car out for the first time with their Learner's Permit. I love to see an 8-year-old move up to cover first base, or an 11-year-old learn to spike the ball.
These are the things I have the best memories of, in the past decade or so.
Would I trade millions of dollars earned, a nicer car, a bigger home, FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, to have these things in my life every day?
Not only would I, I would in a heartbeat. And in fact, I already HAVE.
I'm never going to amass a fortune, and I'm never going to "get ahead". I will always struggle to pay my bills. Retirement is going to be a hot mess. I OUGHT to be worried. VERY worried.
But one day I will look back and think, I helped 100's of kids to appreciate (or at least not fear) math. I helped oodles of kids have a true sense of accomplishment in learning a sport, and maybe, just maybe, some of them will lead a richer and healthier life for it. I have helped a bunch of babies on their way to things like walking and talking, and learning to share and to treat others with kindness.
It would be a little silly to think that, because I'm kinda smart, I was destined for some sort of "glory". It would be nice to win the lottery, but I know that isn't gonna happen. Really, though, who's to say this life of mine, ISN'T rather glorious?
So I have to answer a question with a question here: If YOU are so smart, why is it you keep running on the hamster wheel? Has it really helped you get where you are going? Or have you even thought about where it is you are going?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Insidious or Something Else?
Once upon a time, my daughter was a 'tween. And there were times that a friend would call, that she didn't want to speak to. Or someone would invite her to something she didn't want to do. And she would say "Mom, tell them I'm not here..." or "Mom, tell them I'm not allowed to go...".
And I would patiently tell my daughter that she needed to learn to stand up for herself, or at the very least, make her own excuses.
Now, really, the kid's aim was to not have to hurt someone's feelings. Most of us find that quite a disagreeable thing. It's not like she was going to get on the phone and say "I'm tired of talking to you on the phone all the time," or "You know, I like you in small doses but a sleepover would just be too much for me...".
The thing is, we all DO tell little white lies. We do it mostly so we don't hurt someone's feelings. This salad is delicious. Your new haircut is terrific! You'll get that promotion next time. It's a valid social skill.
We all, also, have to take control of our likes and dislikes, and our schedule. We have to learn to say "NO" on occasion, firmly but nicely. Just think of the mess we would all be in if we REALLY COULDN'T SAY NO???
So I taught my daughter to do this for herself. Better, if someone was going to lie FOR her, that it BE her.
And while we learned this little coping mechanism, we tried to also learn how to be as honest as we could, in the process. We learned to say things like "I just don't feel like talking on the phone right now," and leaving out the "to you" part. Or we would respond with "I really had something else planned for that evening," and leave out the part about it being to wash the dog.
The point here being, that we also learned that if it's something really important, and not just a question of avoiding unnecessary hurt feelings, then we should do our best to tell it like it is.
Like when mom comes home from the grocery store to see you have 3 friends over, and one is puking her guts out... You say "Mom, I already called her mother, but she was drinking alcohol earlier and that's why she's so sick," instead of claiming stomach flu like your friend wanted you to say.
God forbid, that friend go home later and pass out cold and go into an alcohol-induced coma, and her mother think she's just sleeping off a flu. The odds are tiny, but the outcome is so important, you have to suck it up and say what you don't want to say.
My daughter knew this before she was a teenager. So, why is it that some adults, still don't know how to (a) tell a small but polite untruth, when it is appropriate, or (b) distinguish what is actually important, and do the RIGHT thing, even if it makes you uncomfortable?
How can it be, that there are grown adults walking around out there, who will tell you those jeans make you look fat, but then tell you there's nothing going on when the house is on fire? Can someone tell me; Is that stupidity, or something more insidious?
And I would patiently tell my daughter that she needed to learn to stand up for herself, or at the very least, make her own excuses.
Now, really, the kid's aim was to not have to hurt someone's feelings. Most of us find that quite a disagreeable thing. It's not like she was going to get on the phone and say "I'm tired of talking to you on the phone all the time," or "You know, I like you in small doses but a sleepover would just be too much for me...".
The thing is, we all DO tell little white lies. We do it mostly so we don't hurt someone's feelings. This salad is delicious. Your new haircut is terrific! You'll get that promotion next time. It's a valid social skill.
We all, also, have to take control of our likes and dislikes, and our schedule. We have to learn to say "NO" on occasion, firmly but nicely. Just think of the mess we would all be in if we REALLY COULDN'T SAY NO???
So I taught my daughter to do this for herself. Better, if someone was going to lie FOR her, that it BE her.
And while we learned this little coping mechanism, we tried to also learn how to be as honest as we could, in the process. We learned to say things like "I just don't feel like talking on the phone right now," and leaving out the "to you" part. Or we would respond with "I really had something else planned for that evening," and leave out the part about it being to wash the dog.
The point here being, that we also learned that if it's something really important, and not just a question of avoiding unnecessary hurt feelings, then we should do our best to tell it like it is.
Like when mom comes home from the grocery store to see you have 3 friends over, and one is puking her guts out... You say "Mom, I already called her mother, but she was drinking alcohol earlier and that's why she's so sick," instead of claiming stomach flu like your friend wanted you to say.
God forbid, that friend go home later and pass out cold and go into an alcohol-induced coma, and her mother think she's just sleeping off a flu. The odds are tiny, but the outcome is so important, you have to suck it up and say what you don't want to say.
My daughter knew this before she was a teenager. So, why is it that some adults, still don't know how to (a) tell a small but polite untruth, when it is appropriate, or (b) distinguish what is actually important, and do the RIGHT thing, even if it makes you uncomfortable?
How can it be, that there are grown adults walking around out there, who will tell you those jeans make you look fat, but then tell you there's nothing going on when the house is on fire? Can someone tell me; Is that stupidity, or something more insidious?
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
More about Spirituality...
So, I was asked, "Do you really think there is a God? That there is some guy up there looking down on you, who is going to judge you when you die and send you to Heaven or Hell? Do you really think you have to go to Church and all that (insert expletive here)???!!?!?!??!!!". Rather incredulously I was asked, in case the punctuation lacked subtlety.
"No, I don't." was my succinct answer. When prodded, my long answer is "I prefer not to muddle my Spiritual beliefs with religion, thank you very much.". That's it. Unless you actually WANT to know what I believe -- which a curious reader who wanders over to this blog quite intentionally, might or might not. But clearly (to me), my questioner's aim was to ridicule and bait me.
So be it.
So, in case that leaves a bit of a dilemma (not in my mind)... I figured I would expound.
I studied Science, Mathematics and Engineering. I am a big fan and student of Statistics. I capitalize them all, as I do Spirituality or God... Because to me, all these are ways to find what most people seek in their lives -- Truth and Meaning.
All of these things to me, anyway, are HOLY.
Now, religion, I would capitalize if I felt the same way about. I think that what once started out as a way to seek Truth, being an invention of Man, became confused and befuddled over time, and lost quite a bit of it's original intent and purpose. In the Renaissance (proper noun, not HOLY word!), men of Art and Science were also men of Faith, in many cases. And I think that if you examine the lives of many of the great modern-day philosophers and scientists, you would find that they do not see any reason why people should assume Science precludes the existence of God.
Personally, I feel that when the two disagree, we (being mere men -- so to speak) have just gotten something wrong along the way. We've missed something. After all, to err is human, as I myself try to prove daily!
Now to me, there are a few things that point to something one might call God. For one thing, I look and marvel at our World, and the amazing and beautiful variety of nature and species it contains, and I conclude that something so magnificent, Statistically speaking, is an extreme outlier. As in, if it got here somehow by cosmic accident alone, that would be one Hell (tee hee hee) of a Statistical anomaly. Ummm, meaning that seems quite impossible to me.
Also I note that all sorts of phenomena that were previously unexplained (or incorrectly attributed), were eventually explained through Science, even though these things (like radio waves, magnetic fields, and the like) are not detectable by the human senses. We have to find the way to SEE them.
So why should I PRECLUDE anything else that might be here, on our little rock called Earth, that we simply have not found a way to detect, measure, quantify? Something implied, but beyond the reach of our (God-given??) five natural senses? If I accept that, because I personally can not see it, feel it, taste it, smell it or hear it, then it does not exist -- then does that mean the magnetic field around the Earth will disappear? I think not, therefore you are not, and POOF!
Also to me, just based on my own personal experience, it seems SUGGESTED that, as our bodies cease to function, there might still be something, some as yet "unsensed" something held within or about us, that also exists after our bodies do not (see Grandma blog?). For lack of a better word(s) I think of this as Soul or Spirit. To me (and feel free to disagree), living things have some essence that we can only glimpse but not yet quantify.
It mattes not what I call this, or if you believe. I can only say I believe this USUALLY very privately, but from personal experience. As I have said previously, I might be completely wrong. That has certainly been the case on many, many occasions. But I believe it until something happens to, in my eyes, disprove it (see Logic blog?).
Anyway, that there is something else to us, as individuals, that survives (to my way of thinking) the physical property of what WE call being alive... This suggests to me again some other force at work that we as yet do not understand. In essence, if you combine my belief that the Universe and specifically Earth and all its wonderful inhabitance possibly being NOT accidental PLUS the fact that I think we as people, as living beings, are actually POSSIBLY more than just our living beings... Well, you get a belief that perhaps there is something larger afoot in the Universe than just the piddlings of us living people.
Now, this is NOT to say I think that there is some guy up there watching us. I am really very undecided on the idea of good vs. evil, as I am on the notion of heaven or hell. I really don't think that, when we die, someone is going to place our soul, our essence, in a scale, weigh it, and send us on for our own particular eternity. If there is a God, capable of such wondrous creations, why (on Earth hahaha) would He/She have time for something so darn trivial!
And can I possibly think that either Jews, Christians, Muslims, lefties, righties, gays straights brown-eyesblue-eyeslovestowearredhats will be the only ones who are judged worthy of some reward after "death"? Ummm, again illogical, trivial, and statistically highly improbable. If there IS some sort of larger force in the Universe, it created us all. And if this entity were at some point to judge us... Let me say I will entertain you with my idea of what would happen...
We rise from our non-functioning earthly bodies and are greeted by some other-wordly entity with the power, grace and creativity to make the entire Universe work, much in the same way a fine watchmaker works... And we are -- each and every one of us -- awed and enlightened to know this Truth. And that is enough. Then, all of us enlightened, departed souls hang out or float around, or whatever it is we do, in perfect harmonious agreement, because now we all know the same secret.
Religion, on the other hand, to me at least, seems contrived and even perverted. I have to say that most of my personal experience is with Christianity, and to be honest, almost all of the people I know personally who identify themselves as Christian, really are fine decent people.
But I sure read enough to know that is not always the case. And I'm not NAIVE enough to think it's someone's particular flavor of ice cream (or religion) that MADE them that way. People everywhere, in every land and throughout time, have been capable of immense good or acts of horrifying cruelty. It is usually a matter of personal choice, in my honest opinion.
So if you recite the mantra or the Hail Mary's or toke your doobie or whip yourself, fast or keep kosher... THESE are all the trappings of Man. These are all interpretations of how people THOUGHT there might be a path, once upon a time, to Goodness and Truth. I don't think regular Church attendance MAKES you good. Certainly then, regular Church attendance at SOME PARTICULAR CHURCH, isn't going to make you "good" either. Illogical.
And just with any major organization, like government ir business, religion is a structure rife with the opportunity to do either good or harm. What makes any particular endeavor mostly "good" or mostly "bad" depends entirely on the sum of the actions of it's participants.
So, I guess all I'm saying here is, that to me my particular experience and education leads me to believe that there is some force out there that is beyond our current methods of evaluating, and that this force or entity (or entities, for all we know) are capable of some amazing and beautiful things that I feel to be pretty amazing. Awesome. Good, if you will. And I think that some part of us, when our living bodies cease to support us, might just become a part of that force or entity.
Certainly no one has provided to me, what I feel is definitive proof to the contrary (see Logic blog?).
And no, I'm not worried about heaven or hell, and I'm not particularly worried about the state of my soul or even yours, for that matter. Because I think that, in the end, it will all work itself out somehow.
Because of this, I don't feel a need to label what I think or feel, or to "convert" you to my way of thinking. After all, I said before, I have been wrong many, many times.
Even so, the Statistician in me says that my beliefs are a pretty nice way to "hedge my bets" as it were. Not to suggest that the things I believe are contrived for that purpose. I'm just saying that, if anything I believe, by some MIRACLE turns out to be correct, then hmmm, lucky me. But then again, I feel like if I didn't think this way, things would turn out fine in the end, too.
So, I'll see you ALL sometime on the other side. And you can tell me what a fool I was!
"No, I don't." was my succinct answer. When prodded, my long answer is "I prefer not to muddle my Spiritual beliefs with religion, thank you very much.". That's it. Unless you actually WANT to know what I believe -- which a curious reader who wanders over to this blog quite intentionally, might or might not. But clearly (to me), my questioner's aim was to ridicule and bait me.
So be it.
So, in case that leaves a bit of a dilemma (not in my mind)... I figured I would expound.
I studied Science, Mathematics and Engineering. I am a big fan and student of Statistics. I capitalize them all, as I do Spirituality or God... Because to me, all these are ways to find what most people seek in their lives -- Truth and Meaning.
All of these things to me, anyway, are HOLY.
Now, religion, I would capitalize if I felt the same way about. I think that what once started out as a way to seek Truth, being an invention of Man, became confused and befuddled over time, and lost quite a bit of it's original intent and purpose. In the Renaissance (proper noun, not HOLY word!), men of Art and Science were also men of Faith, in many cases. And I think that if you examine the lives of many of the great modern-day philosophers and scientists, you would find that they do not see any reason why people should assume Science precludes the existence of God.
Personally, I feel that when the two disagree, we (being mere men -- so to speak) have just gotten something wrong along the way. We've missed something. After all, to err is human, as I myself try to prove daily!
Now to me, there are a few things that point to something one might call God. For one thing, I look and marvel at our World, and the amazing and beautiful variety of nature and species it contains, and I conclude that something so magnificent, Statistically speaking, is an extreme outlier. As in, if it got here somehow by cosmic accident alone, that would be one Hell (tee hee hee) of a Statistical anomaly. Ummm, meaning that seems quite impossible to me.
Also I note that all sorts of phenomena that were previously unexplained (or incorrectly attributed), were eventually explained through Science, even though these things (like radio waves, magnetic fields, and the like) are not detectable by the human senses. We have to find the way to SEE them.
So why should I PRECLUDE anything else that might be here, on our little rock called Earth, that we simply have not found a way to detect, measure, quantify? Something implied, but beyond the reach of our (God-given??) five natural senses? If I accept that, because I personally can not see it, feel it, taste it, smell it or hear it, then it does not exist -- then does that mean the magnetic field around the Earth will disappear? I think not, therefore you are not, and POOF!
Also to me, just based on my own personal experience, it seems SUGGESTED that, as our bodies cease to function, there might still be something, some as yet "unsensed" something held within or about us, that also exists after our bodies do not (see Grandma blog?). For lack of a better word(s) I think of this as Soul or Spirit. To me (and feel free to disagree), living things have some essence that we can only glimpse but not yet quantify.
It mattes not what I call this, or if you believe. I can only say I believe this USUALLY very privately, but from personal experience. As I have said previously, I might be completely wrong. That has certainly been the case on many, many occasions. But I believe it until something happens to, in my eyes, disprove it (see Logic blog?).
Anyway, that there is something else to us, as individuals, that survives (to my way of thinking) the physical property of what WE call being alive... This suggests to me again some other force at work that we as yet do not understand. In essence, if you combine my belief that the Universe and specifically Earth and all its wonderful inhabitance possibly being NOT accidental PLUS the fact that I think we as people, as living beings, are actually POSSIBLY more than just our living beings... Well, you get a belief that perhaps there is something larger afoot in the Universe than just the piddlings of us living people.
Now, this is NOT to say I think that there is some guy up there watching us. I am really very undecided on the idea of good vs. evil, as I am on the notion of heaven or hell. I really don't think that, when we die, someone is going to place our soul, our essence, in a scale, weigh it, and send us on for our own particular eternity. If there is a God, capable of such wondrous creations, why (on Earth hahaha) would He/She have time for something so darn trivial!
And can I possibly think that either Jews, Christians, Muslims, lefties, righties, gays straights brown-eyesblue-eyeslovestowearredhats will be the only ones who are judged worthy of some reward after "death"? Ummm, again illogical, trivial, and statistically highly improbable. If there IS some sort of larger force in the Universe, it created us all. And if this entity were at some point to judge us... Let me say I will entertain you with my idea of what would happen...
We rise from our non-functioning earthly bodies and are greeted by some other-wordly entity with the power, grace and creativity to make the entire Universe work, much in the same way a fine watchmaker works... And we are -- each and every one of us -- awed and enlightened to know this Truth. And that is enough. Then, all of us enlightened, departed souls hang out or float around, or whatever it is we do, in perfect harmonious agreement, because now we all know the same secret.
Religion, on the other hand, to me at least, seems contrived and even perverted. I have to say that most of my personal experience is with Christianity, and to be honest, almost all of the people I know personally who identify themselves as Christian, really are fine decent people.
But I sure read enough to know that is not always the case. And I'm not NAIVE enough to think it's someone's particular flavor of ice cream (or religion) that MADE them that way. People everywhere, in every land and throughout time, have been capable of immense good or acts of horrifying cruelty. It is usually a matter of personal choice, in my honest opinion.
So if you recite the mantra or the Hail Mary's or toke your doobie or whip yourself, fast or keep kosher... THESE are all the trappings of Man. These are all interpretations of how people THOUGHT there might be a path, once upon a time, to Goodness and Truth. I don't think regular Church attendance MAKES you good. Certainly then, regular Church attendance at SOME PARTICULAR CHURCH, isn't going to make you "good" either. Illogical.
And just with any major organization, like government ir business, religion is a structure rife with the opportunity to do either good or harm. What makes any particular endeavor mostly "good" or mostly "bad" depends entirely on the sum of the actions of it's participants.
So, I guess all I'm saying here is, that to me my particular experience and education leads me to believe that there is some force out there that is beyond our current methods of evaluating, and that this force or entity (or entities, for all we know) are capable of some amazing and beautiful things that I feel to be pretty amazing. Awesome. Good, if you will. And I think that some part of us, when our living bodies cease to support us, might just become a part of that force or entity.
Certainly no one has provided to me, what I feel is definitive proof to the contrary (see Logic blog?).
And no, I'm not worried about heaven or hell, and I'm not particularly worried about the state of my soul or even yours, for that matter. Because I think that, in the end, it will all work itself out somehow.
Because of this, I don't feel a need to label what I think or feel, or to "convert" you to my way of thinking. After all, I said before, I have been wrong many, many times.
Even so, the Statistician in me says that my beliefs are a pretty nice way to "hedge my bets" as it were. Not to suggest that the things I believe are contrived for that purpose. I'm just saying that, if anything I believe, by some MIRACLE turns out to be correct, then hmmm, lucky me. But then again, I feel like if I didn't think this way, things would turn out fine in the end, too.
So, I'll see you ALL sometime on the other side. And you can tell me what a fool I was!
I ADMIT!!!
I admit, I take "happy pills". If you have been reading me for a while, you know I "suffer" from chronic depression and sleep disorders, including but not limited to insomnia (go figure, 4am posting???)... The thing is, in general, I only take enough "happy pills" to keep the crying jags and super-sleep marathons at bay.
As a testimony to this, if I skip my "meds" for two days straight -- I am liable to have a complete reversal of my generally sunny disposition. I cry at sappy commercials, spilled milk, recipes gone awry and a dog not walked enough. This is true even though it apparently takes two weeks for these meds to build up and work in your system... I continually "push the envelope" by taking exactly as little as I can get away with, and still function as a human being. I refill my anti-anxiety meds about twice per year, instead of once per month.
Even so, one might have to wonder if my blogs aren't a little colored by medication. Do I think things are always great? Am I delusional or mentally ill? Am I looking at the World through anti-depressant-colored glasses? Do I think everything I say on here is RIGHT????
Well, luckily I've never been diagnosed as delusional. Even in the depths of depression, I have been told I am a die-hard (that was tongue-in-cheek for those of you who speak ESL or who just aren't big fans of "dark humor") realist. I have been told I'm logical to a fault, and that this contributes to my general dissatisfaction.
Apparently, if I would just have feelings and allow them to be IRRATIONAL, some very educated people think I would be happier. ILLOGICAL!!!
The thing is, everything I post on here, is subject to debate. I think, and I am logical. But I really do accept that -- not only do I not have ALL the answers -- I might well have NO ANSWERS!
The reason for this, sadly, is again my reliance on cold, hard logic. While you CAN prove something to be FALSE... You can not definitively PROVE SOMETHING TO BE TRUE. And the catch-22 here is, that just because something is proven to be true, does not necessarily mean that its (perceived) opposite is false.
Consider the statement that "all apples are red". If I bring you a green apple, you can accept that all apples are NOT red. The way you disprove something is to show a counter-example. This works brilliantly with things that are very narrowly defined -- like red and green apples.
What about 800 years ago, if you tried to prove the World was flat? Certainly for a very long time, no on had successfully circumnavigated the globe, disproving this theory. Does that mean, though, that 800 years ago -- THE WORLD WAS FLAT? Clearly most people would say NO. But can you be certain????
What about the Universe? Can we be sure of Creationism versus the Big Bang Theory? Well, if we are really to decide, FIRST we must accept that the one precludes the other. Same with Evolution. Does the existence of monkeys in the modern World disprove Evolution? Some would say yes, some no. Most definitively!
But are they truly opposites? If you say yes, how can you prove THAT to me???
PLEASE, prove to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is no in-between... That there is NO GOD, and that Evolution was not a part of his plan... Go on, I'm waiting....
Sometime in the near future, I am going to have to go to Court, and disprove (beyond the shadow of a doubt!!!) that a debt that was incurred is NOT mine. This defies logic! But that is how civil courts work -- on anti-logic.
If I committed assault or theft, you would have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it DID happen. And that, at least in theory, is possible. But how do you prove something DIDN'T HAPPEN??? Did a tree falling in the forest, make no noise? Even once did this NOT HAPPEN? The World may never know....
And so, no, I don't take everything I write as being "true". I live for truths to be disproven. I love to be shown a different and better way.
So I ask my dear friends and readers this: Please PROVE to me that the World was NOT flat 800, 900, or 1,000 years ago. Please PROVE to me that Evolution and Creationism are mutually exclusive. Show me a new way. But please, follow the laws of Logic as you do so.
As a testimony to this, if I skip my "meds" for two days straight -- I am liable to have a complete reversal of my generally sunny disposition. I cry at sappy commercials, spilled milk, recipes gone awry and a dog not walked enough. This is true even though it apparently takes two weeks for these meds to build up and work in your system... I continually "push the envelope" by taking exactly as little as I can get away with, and still function as a human being. I refill my anti-anxiety meds about twice per year, instead of once per month.
Even so, one might have to wonder if my blogs aren't a little colored by medication. Do I think things are always great? Am I delusional or mentally ill? Am I looking at the World through anti-depressant-colored glasses? Do I think everything I say on here is RIGHT????
Well, luckily I've never been diagnosed as delusional. Even in the depths of depression, I have been told I am a die-hard (that was tongue-in-cheek for those of you who speak ESL or who just aren't big fans of "dark humor") realist. I have been told I'm logical to a fault, and that this contributes to my general dissatisfaction.
Apparently, if I would just have feelings and allow them to be IRRATIONAL, some very educated people think I would be happier. ILLOGICAL!!!
The thing is, everything I post on here, is subject to debate. I think, and I am logical. But I really do accept that -- not only do I not have ALL the answers -- I might well have NO ANSWERS!
The reason for this, sadly, is again my reliance on cold, hard logic. While you CAN prove something to be FALSE... You can not definitively PROVE SOMETHING TO BE TRUE. And the catch-22 here is, that just because something is proven to be true, does not necessarily mean that its (perceived) opposite is false.
Consider the statement that "all apples are red". If I bring you a green apple, you can accept that all apples are NOT red. The way you disprove something is to show a counter-example. This works brilliantly with things that are very narrowly defined -- like red and green apples.
What about 800 years ago, if you tried to prove the World was flat? Certainly for a very long time, no on had successfully circumnavigated the globe, disproving this theory. Does that mean, though, that 800 years ago -- THE WORLD WAS FLAT? Clearly most people would say NO. But can you be certain????
What about the Universe? Can we be sure of Creationism versus the Big Bang Theory? Well, if we are really to decide, FIRST we must accept that the one precludes the other. Same with Evolution. Does the existence of monkeys in the modern World disprove Evolution? Some would say yes, some no. Most definitively!
But are they truly opposites? If you say yes, how can you prove THAT to me???
PLEASE, prove to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is no in-between... That there is NO GOD, and that Evolution was not a part of his plan... Go on, I'm waiting....
Sometime in the near future, I am going to have to go to Court, and disprove (beyond the shadow of a doubt!!!) that a debt that was incurred is NOT mine. This defies logic! But that is how civil courts work -- on anti-logic.
If I committed assault or theft, you would have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it DID happen. And that, at least in theory, is possible. But how do you prove something DIDN'T HAPPEN??? Did a tree falling in the forest, make no noise? Even once did this NOT HAPPEN? The World may never know....
And so, no, I don't take everything I write as being "true". I live for truths to be disproven. I love to be shown a different and better way.
So I ask my dear friends and readers this: Please PROVE to me that the World was NOT flat 800, 900, or 1,000 years ago. Please PROVE to me that Evolution and Creationism are mutually exclusive. Show me a new way. But please, follow the laws of Logic as you do so.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Follow-up on Unequal Pay
So, the other night, I wrote that I could almost see a real, Free-Market reason why a woman, having equal experience and education to a man, might be paid less than said man. And sadly, this would be if she were a mother.
Just like insurance companies find that men between the ages of 18 and 25 are more likely to have a car accident than any other demographic group... Sometimes you just pay more for a while, and beat the odds later.
But why women of childbearing age? Have I forgotten that most of my Engineering and Management years were spent during that age??? Why, no, I have not. And I also have not forgotten that I WAS paid less than similarly educated and experienced men, or women over the age of 45.
Here's the thing (and get ready, this is sort of reverse-dscrimination on my part) -- When I was a mom at work, no matter how brilliantly I performed, no matter how much I exceeded expectations... I was only HALF THERE while at work. The other half of my brain was a whirlwind of thoughts that went something like:
When was that deadline for swim team sign-ups? If her cough doesn't go away by tomorrow, I'm going to have to make a doctor's appointment. Is that school Bingo night tonight, or tomorrow night? Did I defrost something for dinner, or should I order a pizza on the way home? And did I ever hear back from the Science teacher, because I KNOW I didn't see her bring home the last test....
Added to this, would be the fact that I was a single mom, so if the school called and told me that the cough was worse and now she had a fever, or if Bingo night WAS in fact tonight... Well, it would be me, not my spouse, leaving work early to take care of it.
I asked my husband, does he have these thoughts while he is at work? Does he think things like "I wonder if we can really afford orthodontics for BOTH kids; am I supposed to be at the soccer game tonight, and if so is it our turn to bring the snacks; and I really can't forget to take them to buy a present for so-and-so's birthday party this weekend...". He assures me he does NOT.
A poll of one is hardly a study, so I'd LOVE to hear from the other Dads out there.
The thing is, my husband also points out that the average man thinks about sex, what, is it six times a minute, or every six minutes? Either way, he reasons, that can't make for a very efficient or effective work day, even when compared to the possible "other thoughts" of women in the workplace.
To me, that fact that a father and husband has a wife who will be the one to take care of the teachers' conferences and doctor's appointments, makes that man MORE valuable as an employee. The wife/mother's contribution isn't recognized in HER paycheck, but it is in her husbands. This might seem unfair, but only if they work for different employers!
So, what do you all think? Are men as distracted at work as women? Perhaps younger men are more distracted than Moms are? Is there any arguing that, in a truly free market, the many distractions of parenthood might make someone slightly less valuable?
Let me have it, I don't have all the answers.
Just like insurance companies find that men between the ages of 18 and 25 are more likely to have a car accident than any other demographic group... Sometimes you just pay more for a while, and beat the odds later.
But why women of childbearing age? Have I forgotten that most of my Engineering and Management years were spent during that age??? Why, no, I have not. And I also have not forgotten that I WAS paid less than similarly educated and experienced men, or women over the age of 45.
Here's the thing (and get ready, this is sort of reverse-dscrimination on my part) -- When I was a mom at work, no matter how brilliantly I performed, no matter how much I exceeded expectations... I was only HALF THERE while at work. The other half of my brain was a whirlwind of thoughts that went something like:
When was that deadline for swim team sign-ups? If her cough doesn't go away by tomorrow, I'm going to have to make a doctor's appointment. Is that school Bingo night tonight, or tomorrow night? Did I defrost something for dinner, or should I order a pizza on the way home? And did I ever hear back from the Science teacher, because I KNOW I didn't see her bring home the last test....
Added to this, would be the fact that I was a single mom, so if the school called and told me that the cough was worse and now she had a fever, or if Bingo night WAS in fact tonight... Well, it would be me, not my spouse, leaving work early to take care of it.
I asked my husband, does he have these thoughts while he is at work? Does he think things like "I wonder if we can really afford orthodontics for BOTH kids; am I supposed to be at the soccer game tonight, and if so is it our turn to bring the snacks; and I really can't forget to take them to buy a present for so-and-so's birthday party this weekend...". He assures me he does NOT.
A poll of one is hardly a study, so I'd LOVE to hear from the other Dads out there.
The thing is, my husband also points out that the average man thinks about sex, what, is it six times a minute, or every six minutes? Either way, he reasons, that can't make for a very efficient or effective work day, even when compared to the possible "other thoughts" of women in the workplace.
To me, that fact that a father and husband has a wife who will be the one to take care of the teachers' conferences and doctor's appointments, makes that man MORE valuable as an employee. The wife/mother's contribution isn't recognized in HER paycheck, but it is in her husbands. This might seem unfair, but only if they work for different employers!
So, what do you all think? Are men as distracted at work as women? Perhaps younger men are more distracted than Moms are? Is there any arguing that, in a truly free market, the many distractions of parenthood might make someone slightly less valuable?
Let me have it, I don't have all the answers.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Effin' Liberal Swedes!
OK, so, before we got married (and even after) my husband seemed convinced that one day, I would tire of him and leave him. Don't take it the wrong way, but there is still a part of his brain that, while hoping he's wrong, thinks that our marriage might not be "forever". I, on the other hand, have always known that's not the case. And now research backs me up!
The Journal of Politics conducted a study of 5,000 married couples, and found that the similarity of their political views was the #1 thing that predicts a marriage's success. The #2 factor was the similarity in how often they attend Church. On both counts, I would have a VERY hard time finding anyone else who matched me so completely.
In fact, I am completely and totally what would be considered "socially liberal". I would say that because of this, I am FOR gay rights and gay marriage. I am FOR the legalization of marijuana. I am (legally speaking) FOR anything that anyone else could conceive of as morally wrong, as long as it doesn't harm others.
Why? Because IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO JUDGE! I get really upset when one person or another, of any political stripe, tries to take the "moral high ground" on any issue. It is simply not the place of one human being to judge another -- at least not unless they are an immediate threat to their fellow human beings.
To say that GOD says this or that is right, so YOU can't do it... Is pride in the worst form ever. GOD will judge those false moralizers as surely as he will the worst of sinners.
I also love to think of myself as what my friend Sandy calls "rabidly Constitutionalist". I am FOR the separation of Church and State, as was the intent of the Forefathers. There is not supposed to be a government body here in the US that imposes some sense of morality on the general public.
There should be nothing, and I mean NOTHING, in between us and a free-market economy.
Even though I abhor handguns, and think they should be limited... The Constitution says we have the right to bear arms... And Dad Gummit, until that Constitution is changed, that is our RIGHT. Even if I choose not to exercise that right, or don't even agree with it -- it's in the Constitution so it is THE LAW.
I believe that the Founders meant for all people to be equal, and for the law to be dynamic and change with the times. Surely SOME of our Founding Fathers envisioned that one day, people of color would be free, could own land and vote. Most did not envision this for women, but they did see that times would change, and that laws must change with them.
And I really think they would be AGHAST at the idea that people would bring prayer into our schools or government offices.
Similarly, we now know that all HUMANS, all people, regardless of race, creed, age, religion, sex, family status, health status, place of birth, sexual orientation, favorite color, number of toes, are all HUMANS. We are all PEOPLE. And unless you can categorize some entity as a "non-person", then the MUST have the same rights as anyone else, under the Law.
I believe that if I had to pick one thing that makes our Nation truly great, it would HAVE to be that we all have the right to say (and think) what we want. I could rant all day that we have to abolish nematodes, and I might be 100% wrong. But as long as I harm no one in my assertions, I can think and say as I please. And so can YOU!
As I have said before and will repeat until my final days... I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will fight to my mild discomfort, your right to say it. ALL intelligent ideas can withstand debate. So say what you really think, and support it intelligently!
Now the funny thing is (which will be a later post), I was discussing with my husband that I can see a true, Free-Market rationale that would suggest where a woman, with the same experience and education as a man, might earn less for the same work. WHAT??!!?!?!?!?!!? You say? Well, like I said that is a later post.
But be advised, I am RABIDLY Constitutionalist and RABIDLY Free-Market. And I want everyone to weigh in later with comments!
I will close by saying that, this weekend, think about how every member of our Military, past -- present -- and future -- have been willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect you, your children, and the rights of both you and your children. And also to bring something close to these rights, to peoples of other lands. While we might disagree with this political maneuver or that one, this politician or the other... We can't forget that we ALL benefit from the sacrifice of our Troops.
Why, some of us ask, should it be the job of the United States to carry the lion's share of the burden, for making the World a freer place? I say, read the Constitution. It's what this Nation was born to do. And the people who make that vision a reality, are the man and women of our Armed Forces!
BOM DIA to PORTUGAL!
Hello and welcome to our readers from one of the loveliest countries I have had the pleasure to visit!!! Hope you will come back again :)
Comestible Insectables
Our cat is a ferocious hunter, at least within the confines of our home (we're suburban, no more outdoor kitties for us!).... Which means of course that he is a Ferocius Hunter Of Bugs.
Last night, I spotted a lovely black dragonfly outside on our deck, hovering by the outdoor light. I called my husband to come see, which of course alerted all the animals that something interesting was going on. At the time, the dragonfly was hovering just about an inch above my head, well out of kitty-reach.
However, bugs being bugs, eventually he dipped down to about shoulder height -- and was immediately nabbed by our 10-month-old, 15 pound monster tabby kitten! Felix darted into the house with his booty, while I tearfully implored my darling hubby to save the poor bug before it perished.
J managed to wrest the still-quite-feisty dragonfly from the Jaws of Death, and take him out back to the deck to be set free.
About 20 minutes later, who should come strolling in from the deck but Felix, AGAIN with a live black dragonfly in his mouth! Dragonflies must have rather short memories, IMHO. What was he THINKING???
So again a rescue by Papa, and the dragonfly was set free a second time. Much to my dismay though, I found what looks remarkably like a dragonfly wing on our kitchen floor this morning. :( How does he DO that???
We have found that Felix prefers Japanese Beetles to all else. I can only imagine that it's some combination of the fact that they are crunchy on the outside, with a nice gooey center; and that they really ARE rather amusing to watch as they flounder around on their backs, unable to turn over.
Also lots of fun are moths, although it would seem the nice, young, bright green variety are not ripe yet, judging by the way I find them whole in the house in the mornings. Flies are entertaining, but a bit of a challenge, and always seem to get away before they can be properly ingested.
At first we were fascinated by stink bugs. They make an entertaining sound, and are very clumsy, non-linear fliers, a huge bonus in the entertainment factor of bug-hunting. But after just one bite, we realized these are not bugs of the comestible variety... Quite frankly, they stink!
To whit, there has been a stink bug in the dog's water dish, calmly doing the backstroke (yes, he lives still), that absolutely NO ONE will touch. We just drink around him.
Similarly, the box of Sour Cream and Onion flavored crickets that Papa bought at the beach, sits (mostly) untouched on the shelf above the sink. I think I will leave the bug eating to Felix, and the cast of the Lion King!
Last night, I spotted a lovely black dragonfly outside on our deck, hovering by the outdoor light. I called my husband to come see, which of course alerted all the animals that something interesting was going on. At the time, the dragonfly was hovering just about an inch above my head, well out of kitty-reach.
However, bugs being bugs, eventually he dipped down to about shoulder height -- and was immediately nabbed by our 10-month-old, 15 pound monster tabby kitten! Felix darted into the house with his booty, while I tearfully implored my darling hubby to save the poor bug before it perished.
J managed to wrest the still-quite-feisty dragonfly from the Jaws of Death, and take him out back to the deck to be set free.
About 20 minutes later, who should come strolling in from the deck but Felix, AGAIN with a live black dragonfly in his mouth! Dragonflies must have rather short memories, IMHO. What was he THINKING???
So again a rescue by Papa, and the dragonfly was set free a second time. Much to my dismay though, I found what looks remarkably like a dragonfly wing on our kitchen floor this morning. :( How does he DO that???
We have found that Felix prefers Japanese Beetles to all else. I can only imagine that it's some combination of the fact that they are crunchy on the outside, with a nice gooey center; and that they really ARE rather amusing to watch as they flounder around on their backs, unable to turn over.
Also lots of fun are moths, although it would seem the nice, young, bright green variety are not ripe yet, judging by the way I find them whole in the house in the mornings. Flies are entertaining, but a bit of a challenge, and always seem to get away before they can be properly ingested.
At first we were fascinated by stink bugs. They make an entertaining sound, and are very clumsy, non-linear fliers, a huge bonus in the entertainment factor of bug-hunting. But after just one bite, we realized these are not bugs of the comestible variety... Quite frankly, they stink!
To whit, there has been a stink bug in the dog's water dish, calmly doing the backstroke (yes, he lives still), that absolutely NO ONE will touch. We just drink around him.
Similarly, the box of Sour Cream and Onion flavored crickets that Papa bought at the beach, sits (mostly) untouched on the shelf above the sink. I think I will leave the bug eating to Felix, and the cast of the Lion King!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Weird fact...
I am not very religious, but I do believe in God and I feel I'm somewhat spiritual. And if God was going to come down and judge us, as I believe might well happen some day -- although I really doubt it will be today, OR in the next 5 months -- I would like to think that I have done more good than harm in this life. I'd like to think I'm basically a kind person, and my good deeds might just outweigh my faults.
Even so, last night I prayed for hours to God to spare my daughters any suffering, should the World end. That's what I fell asleep thinking.
I could ask for so much more than that, could pray for all my family and loved ones -- there are so many! But at the end of the day (or the World!) this would be my #1 request, hands-down, 2nd place not even coming close in importance. Second place being, if the World should end, please make sure my daughters know how much I love them.
Anyway, even if you aren't the praying type, tell your children today just how much you love them. That, to me, is my Rapture.
Even so, last night I prayed for hours to God to spare my daughters any suffering, should the World end. That's what I fell asleep thinking.
I could ask for so much more than that, could pray for all my family and loved ones -- there are so many! But at the end of the day (or the World!) this would be my #1 request, hands-down, 2nd place not even coming close in importance. Second place being, if the World should end, please make sure my daughters know how much I love them.
Anyway, even if you aren't the praying type, tell your children today just how much you love them. That, to me, is my Rapture.
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