How Do I Feel Guilty?

Let me count the ways clinical depression makes me feel guilty…  Many people do not understand depression, and one of the most common feelings associated with this DISEASE is extreme guilt.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we KNOW we have wonderful friends and family, we KNOW our spouses and children love us, and we know they want us to be well.  We KNOW we should feel thankful for having these terrific people around us, and we would really like to be more happy and more fun to be around.  But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we KNOW we aren't suffering from Cancer, we KNOW there are many people going through life-threatening illnesses and literally fighting for their lives.  We feel like we should be more appreciative that we aren't bent over with arthritis, or on the list for a transplant.  We would really like to take better advantage of our physical well-being.  But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we KNOW we aren't giving 100% at work, much of the time -- or at least, we aren't giving 100% of what a non-Depressed version of ourselves could give.  We feel bad about not pulling our own weight, about needing more personal time, and having more doctor's appointments.  We'd really like to be that cheery, organized co-worker who really plays their part in the team.  But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we know that we have really let ourselves go.  Once upon a time, we too were young and good-looking and maybe even physically fit.  Anymore, it seems like a struggle to get out of bed, let alone go to the gym, iron our clothes, or put on makeup.  My roots are showing, and I could use a good dye job and a manicure.  I'd really like to take better care of myself, because I know I'd feel better if I looked better.   But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we don't live up to our intellectual potential.  We could probably have completed that last college degree by now, if only we weren't so busy feeling sorry for ourselves and sleeping all the time.  We would probably make more money in a better job, and be able to do more financially for our families, if we could get back into school or training.   But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

We the Depressed, feel guilty because we know that you think we are lazy, that we should just "snap out of it", and that we really are just being big cry babies.  We KNOW you feel this way, because we, too, feel this way.  We'd really like to be able to explain to you how this crushing weight feels, and what it's like to fight it for years on end.  o do more financially for our families, if we could get back into school or training.   But Depression robs you of the ability to do that.

Yes, we the Depressed feel very guilty about our condition…  And this is a sign of the stigma attached to this DISEASE that even many of our own Doctors do not understand.  If you have lived with, cared for, loved, or BEEN one of "us", you probably know all of these things already.  

So, how do you help ease the guilt?

Well, on a personal level, next time you see someone who clearly had a hard time getting out of bed this morning, who skipped their shower and maybe stayed in sweatpants all day…  Tell them you UNDERSTAND, and that it is the DISEASE.  Remind them it isn't their fault…  But just like with any disease, you will have good and bad days, but you still have to keep up with your treatment.  And rely on the people who do understand!

On a larger level…  Post the link to this article on your social networking site, or email the link to a friend.  Or find another article you like, and post the link to that article on your social networking site, or email the link to a friend.  But find something you think furthers the cause of people treating Depression as the DISEASE it is, and make your feelings on the matter known.

The more people who refuse to let others think Depression is "all in the head" of the suffered, the better off we all will be.

Thanks for reading!  Oh, and just so no one is worried...  I am feeling really good, the holidays never bum me out.  I just had the most wonderful visit with family...  I hope all my readers are happy and healthy too!