Turkey Week Progression

(Note to Family, posted on refrigerator door, 8:00am, Tuesday before Thanksgiving)

Hi guys!  Just a reminder, we are hosting Thanksgiving, so PLEASE remember to put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher and generally keep the house tidy for me!  Thanks -- Mom

(Much larger Note to Family, posted on refrigerator door, 1:00pm, Tuesday before Thanksgiving)

It's me again, I have realized there are so many yummy things in the house now, so I decided to go ahead and mark the things I absolutely NEED to have for Thanksgiving dinner, with little sticky notes.  Feel free to snack on the chips and salsa, the humus, the oreos and the deli meats and cheeses i just picked up, when i realized just after lunch that we were out of milk AGAIN!  

Oh, and remember to keep it tidy, THANKS! -- Mom

Oh, and PS -- please don't feed the oreos to the dog, it makes him sick. 

(GIGANTIC Note to Family, posted on pantry door, 7:00pm, Tuesday before Thanksgiving)

OK guys, this really isn't funny anymore.  We went through a gallon of milk JUST THIS MORNING, someone has eaten the entire package of those fried onion things that go on the green bean casserole, my brie got used for grilled-cheese sandwiches and WHOEVER drank my tiny brandy bottle which was MEANT to go in a dessert, I WILL FIND YOU.  

Those sticky notes are there to tell you which foods NOT to eat.  HANDS OFF, or Mom is going to send you WALKING to the store to replace this stuff, FROM YOU ALLOWANCE!  

Not only that, but there is something I can't even identify, stuck to a bowl in the sink AND I AM NOT TOUCHING THIS!  If you take a bath, please remember to let the water out of the tub after.  It is not exactly tidy in here, and Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop are due to arrive tomorrow afternoon.  CLEAN UP YOUR ACT!  -- Mom

(Note to Family, sent via email, text, and SMS, 10:00am, Wednesday before Thanksgiving)

You all are driving me nuts!  I have had to go back to the grocery store SIX TIMES in the past two days because of you all, there are dirty towels in the hallway and someone's socks in the cushions of the sofa, not to mention a bunch of fried onion crumbs in there.  I had to make a special trip back to the liquor store to replace my brandy, and the dishwasher has been run twice today, alone.  It looks like someone was playing with my food coloring in the dog's water dish, and that macaroni was NOT for arts and crafts.  KNOCK IT OFF.  I'm about to go Medieval on you all!  -- Mom

(Note to Family, on poster board in the middle of the living room, 3:00pm, Wednesday before Thanksgiving)

Please enjoy your time visiting with Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop NEATLY and somewhere other than in the kitchen.  Mommy's sanity is hanging on by a thread here.  -- Mom

PS, Mom and Dad, I'm glad you are here, maybe we can catch up when I get back from Safeway?

(Note to Family, front door of house, 10:00am, Thanksgiving Day)

Thanksgiving is cancelled.  Mom-Mom and Mommy retreated to the spa with their mini bottles of brandy.  There is a menu for China House on the kitchen counter.  Happy Holidays you Hooligans, I'm OUT!  -- Mom