A Tribute to.... Barbie?

Once upon a time, I was a bit of a tomboy.  In my youth I much preferred Tonka trucks to Barbies, and playing football to playing house.  The few dolls I owned suffered many bad haircuts and beheadings, and generally wound up dismembered and under the bed with the dust bunnies (hey, I was just curious, ya know?).

Oddly enough, one of my best friends from my teen years to this very day, was much more the girly-girl.  Unlike me, she played with Barbie as a child, and in fact collected Barbies.  I scoffed at this.  I didn't believe her when she said that one day, her original Malibu Barbie, still in the box, would be worth A LOT of money.  Fact is, an original in-the-box 1971 Malibu Barbie is now worth about $75.  WOW!  Not quite doing as well as an original Stretch Armstrong, but still pretty respectable.

Oh, my teenage self thought that Barbie was not such a good role model.  And back in "the day", perhaps she wasn't.  Back in the 70's all Barbie did was hang out on the beach with Ken.  She had this Malibu Dream House and a Corvette, but worked at a hot dog cart.  You had to wonder what she was selling out of that cart!

Anymore, you can get the Barbie "I Can Be" line of dolls, and although the Computer Engineer Barbie is WAY too stylish for her co-workers, you get a code in the box to learn about her career online.  It's laudable that Barbie can now be a Doctor, a Dentist, a Veterinarian, or a Race Car Driver...  But this manufacturer still has a long way to go.  Because Barbie "I Can Be" dolls also include Ballerina and Bride.  Just a little too "old school" for me!

Maybe it is a reflection of our culture, but I don't find a certain set of Princess dolls or ones that are named something derogatory (rhymes with rug rats?) to be any more encouraging.  Probably less so.  I like that certain dolls are not only shaped like the kids who might play with them, but also that BOOKS come with them, and you can get historical dolls that, if you read their books anyway, might actually teach you something!  But as these dolls are age-appropriate, they don't give much consideration to careers.

SIGH.

The thing is, as a teen we used to play this game called Barbies We Will Never See.  You had to name a new Barbie that no toy manufacturer would ever go near -- and I mean NEVER, as in don't say President Barbie.  Because we all know that, one day, after our country has had 47 or so female Presidents, the toy companies will see fit to produce that one.

I mean things like Junkie Barbie, Dumpster-Diver Barbie, Broken-Down Trailer Barbie.  Welfare Barbie.  Aging Alcoholic Actress Barbie.  You can only imagine the fun in creating the accessories to go with these!

So, let's play the game NOW.  In the comments section, tell me YOUR ideas for BWWNS, and if you feel so inclined, tell us all what sort of accessories or add-ons we will need for your new creation!  Clearly this is not a game for children, and I hope I don't upset any collectors by picking on poor Babs.  It's just she's an easy target BECAUSE she is always so popular.

So, have at it.