What Choice Do I Have?

OK, so, I'm out of work. I'm also middle-aged now, and my daughter who was just a tiny baby YESTERDAY is about to turn 21. I have thyroid disease, and it seems darn near impossible to watch my weight. I also have chronic anemia, so that makes it difficult to exercise. My Dad was just diagnosed with diabetes, and I worry for him. I have had three friends who died this year, and have needed a surgery myself. And to top it off, we want our kids to visit this year from Sweden, and so I'm always worried about money. And I'm completely and totally HAPPY.

Well, those statements might not seem to go together. You would think with all this going on, I might be a bit UNhappy. I might even be depressed. With so many bad things, what choice do I have but to be a bit disheartened?

I DO have the choice. I can choose to dwell on all the negatives. Surely I will miss my friends, will continue to worry about money, health, and my family. But those things, they never stop, do they? Life continually throws us these bad times. Who amongst us has all the money they could ever want, plus perfect health for themselves and all their family and friends? If this IS you, can I be adopted???

The thing is, we do have a choice to be overwhelmed or not. We can choose to let the bad times get us down, or choose not to. I can dwell on all that is lost, or choose to be happy for what I do have.

My friends who are lost to me, now suffer no more. And because they were terrific people, I realize that they would be saddened to know I was overcome by their untimely loss. It's bad enough they are gone, and will spend time with us here on Earth no more. But who would want their family and friends to become depressed and hopeless? We all hope, when we pass, that our loved ones will celebrate our life and be happy for having known us, not be sad.

Sure, my health needs constant attention, and I did not want my father to have to deal with health issues in the same way. BUT I do not have a terminal disease. I can get up and get out of bed and do the things I love, see my children and friends and even get to the gym now and again. What if I had been born to a poor family in a destitute country? I would not have survived 'til now to write this blog. That is a great bit of good fortune, right there!

And money, it's just money. We will make more, and we will spend more, and we will want more. But if you are going to worry about THAT all the time, you are going to miss out on life. I know people who are afraid to lose their jobs or homes, and I don't want to make light of that situation. Of course it's incredibly stressful and frustrating. I've been through both before. But the thing is, when I was totally stressed about losing my job and house in the same year, I came to understand that having THAT job, and THAT house, wasn't why the people I cared about loved me. I was being a bit prideful, and a bit scared of change.

Will your children still love and respect you if you have to work at Wal-Mart and move everyone into a tiny apartment? If they have to share a bedroom and wear hand-me-down clothes? I think that if you are a good parent of good children, the answer there is overwhelmingly YES. And I think that although 99% of us would worry about this exact question -- 98% of us need not worry. Our family knows we want what is best. And our kids want our time, love, and attention even more than that new Xbox game.

When I look back on my childhood, I barely remember what I wore or even what toys we played with. What I DO remember is all the fun I had fishing with my dad or camping with my mom, or going on vacation to the beach, visiting with friends, reading together... I don't even really remember being particularly disturbed on any of the occasions we had to move. And I'm 100% certain I had a good dose of hand-me-downs! If you feel the same, I bet your kids will feel the same as well.

So when bad things happen, what choice do you have but to be unhappy? You have the choice to throw pride out the window and count your blessings. You have the choice to embrace change and try to see what good might come from it. You have the choice also to lean on and take comfort from the people who care about you... They wouldn't want it any other way!

As a moral to the story... After I lost both my job and then my house, I moved in with my mother and went back to school. It gave me another adult in the house to help me look after my then teenage daughter, it allowed both me and my daughter to bond more with my mom, it saved me ooodles of money, and allowed me to start on a career change that was incredibly rewarding. Was it a "loser" thing to do? If you think so, well, I don't need your opinion! A lot of good came from this time, and I will not let you deny me that happiness :-)~

As trite as it sounds, if life hands you lemons, MAKE SOME LEMONADE! They're only gonna stay sour as long as YOU let them!