So, the other night, I wrote that I could almost see a real, Free-Market reason why a woman, having equal experience and education to a man, might be paid less than said man. And sadly, this would be if she were a mother.
Just like insurance companies find that men between the ages of 18 and 25 are more likely to have a car accident than any other demographic group... Sometimes you just pay more for a while, and beat the odds later.
But why women of childbearing age? Have I forgotten that most of my Engineering and Management years were spent during that age??? Why, no, I have not. And I also have not forgotten that I WAS paid less than similarly educated and experienced men, or women over the age of 45.
Here's the thing (and get ready, this is sort of reverse-dscrimination on my part) -- When I was a mom at work, no matter how brilliantly I performed, no matter how much I exceeded expectations... I was only HALF THERE while at work. The other half of my brain was a whirlwind of thoughts that went something like:
When was that deadline for swim team sign-ups? If her cough doesn't go away by tomorrow, I'm going to have to make a doctor's appointment. Is that school Bingo night tonight, or tomorrow night? Did I defrost something for dinner, or should I order a pizza on the way home? And did I ever hear back from the Science teacher, because I KNOW I didn't see her bring home the last test....
Added to this, would be the fact that I was a single mom, so if the school called and told me that the cough was worse and now she had a fever, or if Bingo night WAS in fact tonight... Well, it would be me, not my spouse, leaving work early to take care of it.
I asked my husband, does he have these thoughts while he is at work? Does he think things like "I wonder if we can really afford orthodontics for BOTH kids; am I supposed to be at the soccer game tonight, and if so is it our turn to bring the snacks; and I really can't forget to take them to buy a present for so-and-so's birthday party this weekend...". He assures me he does NOT.
A poll of one is hardly a study, so I'd LOVE to hear from the other Dads out there.
The thing is, my husband also points out that the average man thinks about sex, what, is it six times a minute, or every six minutes? Either way, he reasons, that can't make for a very efficient or effective work day, even when compared to the possible "other thoughts" of women in the workplace.
To me, that fact that a father and husband has a wife who will be the one to take care of the teachers' conferences and doctor's appointments, makes that man MORE valuable as an employee. The wife/mother's contribution isn't recognized in HER paycheck, but it is in her husbands. This might seem unfair, but only if they work for different employers!
So, what do you all think? Are men as distracted at work as women? Perhaps younger men are more distracted than Moms are? Is there any arguing that, in a truly free market, the many distractions of parenthood might make someone slightly less valuable?
Let me have it, I don't have all the answers.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Effin' Liberal Swedes!
OK, so, before we got married (and even after) my husband seemed convinced that one day, I would tire of him and leave him. Don't take it the wrong way, but there is still a part of his brain that, while hoping he's wrong, thinks that our marriage might not be "forever". I, on the other hand, have always known that's not the case. And now research backs me up!
The Journal of Politics conducted a study of 5,000 married couples, and found that the similarity of their political views was the #1 thing that predicts a marriage's success. The #2 factor was the similarity in how often they attend Church. On both counts, I would have a VERY hard time finding anyone else who matched me so completely.
In fact, I am completely and totally what would be considered "socially liberal". I would say that because of this, I am FOR gay rights and gay marriage. I am FOR the legalization of marijuana. I am (legally speaking) FOR anything that anyone else could conceive of as morally wrong, as long as it doesn't harm others.
Why? Because IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO JUDGE! I get really upset when one person or another, of any political stripe, tries to take the "moral high ground" on any issue. It is simply not the place of one human being to judge another -- at least not unless they are an immediate threat to their fellow human beings.
To say that GOD says this or that is right, so YOU can't do it... Is pride in the worst form ever. GOD will judge those false moralizers as surely as he will the worst of sinners.
I also love to think of myself as what my friend Sandy calls "rabidly Constitutionalist". I am FOR the separation of Church and State, as was the intent of the Forefathers. There is not supposed to be a government body here in the US that imposes some sense of morality on the general public.
There should be nothing, and I mean NOTHING, in between us and a free-market economy.
Even though I abhor handguns, and think they should be limited... The Constitution says we have the right to bear arms... And Dad Gummit, until that Constitution is changed, that is our RIGHT. Even if I choose not to exercise that right, or don't even agree with it -- it's in the Constitution so it is THE LAW.
I believe that the Founders meant for all people to be equal, and for the law to be dynamic and change with the times. Surely SOME of our Founding Fathers envisioned that one day, people of color would be free, could own land and vote. Most did not envision this for women, but they did see that times would change, and that laws must change with them.
And I really think they would be AGHAST at the idea that people would bring prayer into our schools or government offices.
Similarly, we now know that all HUMANS, all people, regardless of race, creed, age, religion, sex, family status, health status, place of birth, sexual orientation, favorite color, number of toes, are all HUMANS. We are all PEOPLE. And unless you can categorize some entity as a "non-person", then the MUST have the same rights as anyone else, under the Law.
I believe that if I had to pick one thing that makes our Nation truly great, it would HAVE to be that we all have the right to say (and think) what we want. I could rant all day that we have to abolish nematodes, and I might be 100% wrong. But as long as I harm no one in my assertions, I can think and say as I please. And so can YOU!
As I have said before and will repeat until my final days... I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will fight to my mild discomfort, your right to say it. ALL intelligent ideas can withstand debate. So say what you really think, and support it intelligently!
Now the funny thing is (which will be a later post), I was discussing with my husband that I can see a true, Free-Market rationale that would suggest where a woman, with the same experience and education as a man, might earn less for the same work. WHAT??!!?!?!?!?!!? You say? Well, like I said that is a later post.
But be advised, I am RABIDLY Constitutionalist and RABIDLY Free-Market. And I want everyone to weigh in later with comments!
I will close by saying that, this weekend, think about how every member of our Military, past -- present -- and future -- have been willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect you, your children, and the rights of both you and your children. And also to bring something close to these rights, to peoples of other lands. While we might disagree with this political maneuver or that one, this politician or the other... We can't forget that we ALL benefit from the sacrifice of our Troops.
Why, some of us ask, should it be the job of the United States to carry the lion's share of the burden, for making the World a freer place? I say, read the Constitution. It's what this Nation was born to do. And the people who make that vision a reality, are the man and women of our Armed Forces!
BOM DIA to PORTUGAL!
Hello and welcome to our readers from one of the loveliest countries I have had the pleasure to visit!!! Hope you will come back again :)
Comestible Insectables
Our cat is a ferocious hunter, at least within the confines of our home (we're suburban, no more outdoor kitties for us!).... Which means of course that he is a Ferocius Hunter Of Bugs.
Last night, I spotted a lovely black dragonfly outside on our deck, hovering by the outdoor light. I called my husband to come see, which of course alerted all the animals that something interesting was going on. At the time, the dragonfly was hovering just about an inch above my head, well out of kitty-reach.
However, bugs being bugs, eventually he dipped down to about shoulder height -- and was immediately nabbed by our 10-month-old, 15 pound monster tabby kitten! Felix darted into the house with his booty, while I tearfully implored my darling hubby to save the poor bug before it perished.
J managed to wrest the still-quite-feisty dragonfly from the Jaws of Death, and take him out back to the deck to be set free.
About 20 minutes later, who should come strolling in from the deck but Felix, AGAIN with a live black dragonfly in his mouth! Dragonflies must have rather short memories, IMHO. What was he THINKING???
So again a rescue by Papa, and the dragonfly was set free a second time. Much to my dismay though, I found what looks remarkably like a dragonfly wing on our kitchen floor this morning. :( How does he DO that???
We have found that Felix prefers Japanese Beetles to all else. I can only imagine that it's some combination of the fact that they are crunchy on the outside, with a nice gooey center; and that they really ARE rather amusing to watch as they flounder around on their backs, unable to turn over.
Also lots of fun are moths, although it would seem the nice, young, bright green variety are not ripe yet, judging by the way I find them whole in the house in the mornings. Flies are entertaining, but a bit of a challenge, and always seem to get away before they can be properly ingested.
At first we were fascinated by stink bugs. They make an entertaining sound, and are very clumsy, non-linear fliers, a huge bonus in the entertainment factor of bug-hunting. But after just one bite, we realized these are not bugs of the comestible variety... Quite frankly, they stink!
To whit, there has been a stink bug in the dog's water dish, calmly doing the backstroke (yes, he lives still), that absolutely NO ONE will touch. We just drink around him.
Similarly, the box of Sour Cream and Onion flavored crickets that Papa bought at the beach, sits (mostly) untouched on the shelf above the sink. I think I will leave the bug eating to Felix, and the cast of the Lion King!
Last night, I spotted a lovely black dragonfly outside on our deck, hovering by the outdoor light. I called my husband to come see, which of course alerted all the animals that something interesting was going on. At the time, the dragonfly was hovering just about an inch above my head, well out of kitty-reach.
However, bugs being bugs, eventually he dipped down to about shoulder height -- and was immediately nabbed by our 10-month-old, 15 pound monster tabby kitten! Felix darted into the house with his booty, while I tearfully implored my darling hubby to save the poor bug before it perished.
J managed to wrest the still-quite-feisty dragonfly from the Jaws of Death, and take him out back to the deck to be set free.
About 20 minutes later, who should come strolling in from the deck but Felix, AGAIN with a live black dragonfly in his mouth! Dragonflies must have rather short memories, IMHO. What was he THINKING???
So again a rescue by Papa, and the dragonfly was set free a second time. Much to my dismay though, I found what looks remarkably like a dragonfly wing on our kitchen floor this morning. :( How does he DO that???
We have found that Felix prefers Japanese Beetles to all else. I can only imagine that it's some combination of the fact that they are crunchy on the outside, with a nice gooey center; and that they really ARE rather amusing to watch as they flounder around on their backs, unable to turn over.
Also lots of fun are moths, although it would seem the nice, young, bright green variety are not ripe yet, judging by the way I find them whole in the house in the mornings. Flies are entertaining, but a bit of a challenge, and always seem to get away before they can be properly ingested.
At first we were fascinated by stink bugs. They make an entertaining sound, and are very clumsy, non-linear fliers, a huge bonus in the entertainment factor of bug-hunting. But after just one bite, we realized these are not bugs of the comestible variety... Quite frankly, they stink!
To whit, there has been a stink bug in the dog's water dish, calmly doing the backstroke (yes, he lives still), that absolutely NO ONE will touch. We just drink around him.
Similarly, the box of Sour Cream and Onion flavored crickets that Papa bought at the beach, sits (mostly) untouched on the shelf above the sink. I think I will leave the bug eating to Felix, and the cast of the Lion King!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Weird fact...
I am not very religious, but I do believe in God and I feel I'm somewhat spiritual. And if God was going to come down and judge us, as I believe might well happen some day -- although I really doubt it will be today, OR in the next 5 months -- I would like to think that I have done more good than harm in this life. I'd like to think I'm basically a kind person, and my good deeds might just outweigh my faults.
Even so, last night I prayed for hours to God to spare my daughters any suffering, should the World end. That's what I fell asleep thinking.
I could ask for so much more than that, could pray for all my family and loved ones -- there are so many! But at the end of the day (or the World!) this would be my #1 request, hands-down, 2nd place not even coming close in importance. Second place being, if the World should end, please make sure my daughters know how much I love them.
Anyway, even if you aren't the praying type, tell your children today just how much you love them. That, to me, is my Rapture.
Even so, last night I prayed for hours to God to spare my daughters any suffering, should the World end. That's what I fell asleep thinking.
I could ask for so much more than that, could pray for all my family and loved ones -- there are so many! But at the end of the day (or the World!) this would be my #1 request, hands-down, 2nd place not even coming close in importance. Second place being, if the World should end, please make sure my daughters know how much I love them.
Anyway, even if you aren't the praying type, tell your children today just how much you love them. That, to me, is my Rapture.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Who is the Enemy?
For years, my exceptionally wise friend (and fitness and nutrition guru) Carol has told us all, "Fat is NOT the enemy. SUGAR is the enemy!". And recently a slew of recent research is bearing this out. If you Google "skim milk makes you fat" you can see what I mean about this.
Now, we all know that carrying extra weight increases your odds of a plethora of serious health problems. These include heart disease, diabetes, and even a few cancers. But it's how we acquire that fat in our own bodies that you have to think about...
The thing is, if you think back to the most basic stuff they taught you in biology, you will remember that as we digest food, our bodies turn sugars into energy. The energy we don't use, turns into stored fat. This of course was supposed to be there for us in "lean" times, to be available as extra energy when we don't have enough to eat. But in the Western World, that really isn't something useful anymore, and we just carry that fat around, making problems for most of our vital organs.
Let me repeat myself: OUR BODIES CONVERT SUGAR INTO FAT. Our bodies do not actually convert ingested FAT into fat. In fact, if you grab a package of butter or vegetable shortening, and look at the nutritional information on the side, you will see that naturally fatty foods contain little sugar. Ergo, eating fat does not give your body something to turn into fat! Fat in your diet is NOT fat on your body!!!!
Additionally, having fat in your diet actually slows down your absorption of sugars. They sort of counteract the sugar you are eating, and thus some of the sugars you eat will pass by your blood stream and be eliminated from your body. Why did the Atkins diet work? It was full of fat, but had almost no carbs (a.k.a. sugars) in it!
What we all know already is, sometimes we just crave something nice and fatty to eat. Fat-filled foods are filling, and may help you to eat less. This is the trifecta! Fat in your food will not be turned into fat on your body; fat will slow your digestion of sugars; and fat will help you eat less.
OK, so what am I saying, eat ALL fats? Is this the beginning of an all-butter diet? No, it isn't, for several reasons. You need fiber in your diet, and fatty foods are notoriously low in fiber. They are also rather low in many vitamins, so you need your fruits and veggies. And fatty foods high in cholesterol are certainly not the way to go.
One thing we love in our house is avocados. And these have been called a "super-food" by many sources. They have natural, healthy fat in them, low sugar, and plenty of vitamins. When I want something sweet, I reach for some no-sugar-added ice cream, and NOT the low-fat kind! And we cook with olive oil almost daily here. We get our Omega-3s from salmon and nuts. And when I look online at a list of foods high in trans-fats, there is pretty much nothing there that you will see in our house!
Generally, you still want to stay away from highly processed foods -- because they always contain a ton of SUGAR!!! I have a downfall though, which is ketchup. So, kudos to Heintz, who makes a low-sugar ketchup that tastes just like the original. Be careful with your prepared tomato products, because those tend to be a source of hidden sugars.
And as a side note, I have said for years that eating "too much salt" was a bunch of baloney!!! Why is that? Well, salt, NaCl or sodium chloride, is extremely soluble in water. And our bodies are 80% water. If you consider that NaCl dissolves even better as the temperature of the water rises (say, 98.6 degrees F?) then the salt we eat is going to be almost completely dissolved in our bodies -- which means that in a healthy person, any excess salt can easily be ELIMINATED from our bodies! (Those who suffer from edema, swelling, or conditions similar, would of course want to limit salt intake.)
As a last note, it really is essential to get exercise. For those of you, like me, who have lapsed here and there, you KNOW it makes you feel better, sleep better, be trimmer and have more energy. For those of you who have never made it part of your daily routine... it makes you feel better, sleep better, be trimmer and have more energy!!! It doesn't take as much time or effort as you might think. Skip one half-hour TV program a few times a week, and go walk around the block instead. Even this little tiny bit of movement will show you results.
I will close by saying that I am now down ALMOST 20 of the 30 pound I wanted to lose. And I have done this not really by dieting, but by being a little more active and making a few smarter food choices. This actually includes MORE ICE CREAM (low sugar of course)! Can you beat that? But I have also included more fresh veggies, a new vitamin B complex, and less sitting around.
So do the research, and limit your sugar but savor your healthy fats!
Now, we all know that carrying extra weight increases your odds of a plethora of serious health problems. These include heart disease, diabetes, and even a few cancers. But it's how we acquire that fat in our own bodies that you have to think about...
The thing is, if you think back to the most basic stuff they taught you in biology, you will remember that as we digest food, our bodies turn sugars into energy. The energy we don't use, turns into stored fat. This of course was supposed to be there for us in "lean" times, to be available as extra energy when we don't have enough to eat. But in the Western World, that really isn't something useful anymore, and we just carry that fat around, making problems for most of our vital organs.
Let me repeat myself: OUR BODIES CONVERT SUGAR INTO FAT. Our bodies do not actually convert ingested FAT into fat. In fact, if you grab a package of butter or vegetable shortening, and look at the nutritional information on the side, you will see that naturally fatty foods contain little sugar. Ergo, eating fat does not give your body something to turn into fat! Fat in your diet is NOT fat on your body!!!!
Additionally, having fat in your diet actually slows down your absorption of sugars. They sort of counteract the sugar you are eating, and thus some of the sugars you eat will pass by your blood stream and be eliminated from your body. Why did the Atkins diet work? It was full of fat, but had almost no carbs (a.k.a. sugars) in it!
What we all know already is, sometimes we just crave something nice and fatty to eat. Fat-filled foods are filling, and may help you to eat less. This is the trifecta! Fat in your food will not be turned into fat on your body; fat will slow your digestion of sugars; and fat will help you eat less.
OK, so what am I saying, eat ALL fats? Is this the beginning of an all-butter diet? No, it isn't, for several reasons. You need fiber in your diet, and fatty foods are notoriously low in fiber. They are also rather low in many vitamins, so you need your fruits and veggies. And fatty foods high in cholesterol are certainly not the way to go.
One thing we love in our house is avocados. And these have been called a "super-food" by many sources. They have natural, healthy fat in them, low sugar, and plenty of vitamins. When I want something sweet, I reach for some no-sugar-added ice cream, and NOT the low-fat kind! And we cook with olive oil almost daily here. We get our Omega-3s from salmon and nuts. And when I look online at a list of foods high in trans-fats, there is pretty much nothing there that you will see in our house!
Generally, you still want to stay away from highly processed foods -- because they always contain a ton of SUGAR!!! I have a downfall though, which is ketchup. So, kudos to Heintz, who makes a low-sugar ketchup that tastes just like the original. Be careful with your prepared tomato products, because those tend to be a source of hidden sugars.
And as a side note, I have said for years that eating "too much salt" was a bunch of baloney!!! Why is that? Well, salt, NaCl or sodium chloride, is extremely soluble in water. And our bodies are 80% water. If you consider that NaCl dissolves even better as the temperature of the water rises (say, 98.6 degrees F?) then the salt we eat is going to be almost completely dissolved in our bodies -- which means that in a healthy person, any excess salt can easily be ELIMINATED from our bodies! (Those who suffer from edema, swelling, or conditions similar, would of course want to limit salt intake.)
As a last note, it really is essential to get exercise. For those of you, like me, who have lapsed here and there, you KNOW it makes you feel better, sleep better, be trimmer and have more energy. For those of you who have never made it part of your daily routine... it makes you feel better, sleep better, be trimmer and have more energy!!! It doesn't take as much time or effort as you might think. Skip one half-hour TV program a few times a week, and go walk around the block instead. Even this little tiny bit of movement will show you results.
I will close by saying that I am now down ALMOST 20 of the 30 pound I wanted to lose. And I have done this not really by dieting, but by being a little more active and making a few smarter food choices. This actually includes MORE ICE CREAM (low sugar of course)! Can you beat that? But I have also included more fresh veggies, a new vitamin B complex, and less sitting around.
So do the research, and limit your sugar but savor your healthy fats!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Something Strange in Sterling
Ever since I can remember, ever since I was a tiny child, I've had a problem with mosquitos. Now, I do in fact realize that almost no one likes mosquitos, but I had an especially bad time of them.
For one thing, mosquitos seem to prefer me to other folks. We have joked for decades that, should a lone mosquito be in a room with me and 1,000 other people, it would seem me out and bite me repeatedly. This made me very popular with respect to camping trips. If you took me along, you were virtually assured that YOU would not get even a single bite!
To make matters worse, I have always had a really bad reaction to mosquito bites. While most people will get a small, raised, itchy bump, I would get a giant red INSANELY itchy welt larger around than a quarter. And generally, they would then get infected and take weeks to heal. From April to August, I was a lumpy, bumpy, red and itchy mess.
For some odd reason, this year seems to be different. When I went to Savannah (a.k.a. Mosquito Central) last month with my husband, he was bitten repeatedly, and I received only one bite. And it barely itched at all. In fact, after just two days, I couldn't even tell exactly where I had been bitten. No huge welt, no infection, no weeks of healing.
SCORE!
Then last night, a mosquito bit the back of my arm. I noticed when it happened, and swatted it away. But I do not remember scratching at it. And today, I can't find that mosquito bite I know I received less than 24 hours ago!
This might sound like terrific news, but the allergic reaction I used to have to those pesky blood suckers, has given way to a rather severe case of hay fever, that I am now on three medications to combat. Well, at least no one can SEE my post-nasal drip. And I'm pretty sure the $50 monthly we pay AFTER insurance, is not too much more than what I used to spend on insect repellents.
So it's a bit of good news/bad news I'm playing here. It's certainly quite a strange situation for me. I might unabashedly wear shorts this summer, a bit of a foreign concept!
I hear tell that every cell in one's body regenerates over a seven year period, and that because of this, allergies can change -- not that they always do, but they CAN -- every seven years. And I was in fact allergic to shellfish, for what seems to be just about seven years, back in my 20's.
But I turned 44 this year, and that is not an integer multiple of seven. So what gives? Yes, it's a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and I can say with all certainty that something strange is going on here in Sterling, By God, Virginia.
For one thing, mosquitos seem to prefer me to other folks. We have joked for decades that, should a lone mosquito be in a room with me and 1,000 other people, it would seem me out and bite me repeatedly. This made me very popular with respect to camping trips. If you took me along, you were virtually assured that YOU would not get even a single bite!
To make matters worse, I have always had a really bad reaction to mosquito bites. While most people will get a small, raised, itchy bump, I would get a giant red INSANELY itchy welt larger around than a quarter. And generally, they would then get infected and take weeks to heal. From April to August, I was a lumpy, bumpy, red and itchy mess.
For some odd reason, this year seems to be different. When I went to Savannah (a.k.a. Mosquito Central) last month with my husband, he was bitten repeatedly, and I received only one bite. And it barely itched at all. In fact, after just two days, I couldn't even tell exactly where I had been bitten. No huge welt, no infection, no weeks of healing.
SCORE!
Then last night, a mosquito bit the back of my arm. I noticed when it happened, and swatted it away. But I do not remember scratching at it. And today, I can't find that mosquito bite I know I received less than 24 hours ago!
This might sound like terrific news, but the allergic reaction I used to have to those pesky blood suckers, has given way to a rather severe case of hay fever, that I am now on three medications to combat. Well, at least no one can SEE my post-nasal drip. And I'm pretty sure the $50 monthly we pay AFTER insurance, is not too much more than what I used to spend on insect repellents.
So it's a bit of good news/bad news I'm playing here. It's certainly quite a strange situation for me. I might unabashedly wear shorts this summer, a bit of a foreign concept!
I hear tell that every cell in one's body regenerates over a seven year period, and that because of this, allergies can change -- not that they always do, but they CAN -- every seven years. And I was in fact allergic to shellfish, for what seems to be just about seven years, back in my 20's.
But I turned 44 this year, and that is not an integer multiple of seven. So what gives? Yes, it's a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and I can say with all certainty that something strange is going on here in Sterling, By God, Virginia.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
What Choice Do I Have?
OK, so, I'm out of work. I'm also middle-aged now, and my daughter who was just a tiny baby YESTERDAY is about to turn 21. I have thyroid disease, and it seems darn near impossible to watch my weight. I also have chronic anemia, so that makes it difficult to exercise. My Dad was just diagnosed with diabetes, and I worry for him. I have had three friends who died this year, and have needed a surgery myself. And to top it off, we want our kids to visit this year from Sweden, and so I'm always worried about money. And I'm completely and totally HAPPY.
Well, those statements might not seem to go together. You would think with all this going on, I might be a bit UNhappy. I might even be depressed. With so many bad things, what choice do I have but to be a bit disheartened?
I DO have the choice. I can choose to dwell on all the negatives. Surely I will miss my friends, will continue to worry about money, health, and my family. But those things, they never stop, do they? Life continually throws us these bad times. Who amongst us has all the money they could ever want, plus perfect health for themselves and all their family and friends? If this IS you, can I be adopted???
The thing is, we do have a choice to be overwhelmed or not. We can choose to let the bad times get us down, or choose not to. I can dwell on all that is lost, or choose to be happy for what I do have.
My friends who are lost to me, now suffer no more. And because they were terrific people, I realize that they would be saddened to know I was overcome by their untimely loss. It's bad enough they are gone, and will spend time with us here on Earth no more. But who would want their family and friends to become depressed and hopeless? We all hope, when we pass, that our loved ones will celebrate our life and be happy for having known us, not be sad.
Sure, my health needs constant attention, and I did not want my father to have to deal with health issues in the same way. BUT I do not have a terminal disease. I can get up and get out of bed and do the things I love, see my children and friends and even get to the gym now and again. What if I had been born to a poor family in a destitute country? I would not have survived 'til now to write this blog. That is a great bit of good fortune, right there!
And money, it's just money. We will make more, and we will spend more, and we will want more. But if you are going to worry about THAT all the time, you are going to miss out on life. I know people who are afraid to lose their jobs or homes, and I don't want to make light of that situation. Of course it's incredibly stressful and frustrating. I've been through both before. But the thing is, when I was totally stressed about losing my job and house in the same year, I came to understand that having THAT job, and THAT house, wasn't why the people I cared about loved me. I was being a bit prideful, and a bit scared of change.
Will your children still love and respect you if you have to work at Wal-Mart and move everyone into a tiny apartment? If they have to share a bedroom and wear hand-me-down clothes? I think that if you are a good parent of good children, the answer there is overwhelmingly YES. And I think that although 99% of us would worry about this exact question -- 98% of us need not worry. Our family knows we want what is best. And our kids want our time, love, and attention even more than that new Xbox game.
When I look back on my childhood, I barely remember what I wore or even what toys we played with. What I DO remember is all the fun I had fishing with my dad or camping with my mom, or going on vacation to the beach, visiting with friends, reading together... I don't even really remember being particularly disturbed on any of the occasions we had to move. And I'm 100% certain I had a good dose of hand-me-downs! If you feel the same, I bet your kids will feel the same as well.
So when bad things happen, what choice do you have but to be unhappy? You have the choice to throw pride out the window and count your blessings. You have the choice to embrace change and try to see what good might come from it. You have the choice also to lean on and take comfort from the people who care about you... They wouldn't want it any other way!
As a moral to the story... After I lost both my job and then my house, I moved in with my mother and went back to school. It gave me another adult in the house to help me look after my then teenage daughter, it allowed both me and my daughter to bond more with my mom, it saved me ooodles of money, and allowed me to start on a career change that was incredibly rewarding. Was it a "loser" thing to do? If you think so, well, I don't need your opinion! A lot of good came from this time, and I will not let you deny me that happiness :-)~
As trite as it sounds, if life hands you lemons, MAKE SOME LEMONADE! They're only gonna stay sour as long as YOU let them!
Well, those statements might not seem to go together. You would think with all this going on, I might be a bit UNhappy. I might even be depressed. With so many bad things, what choice do I have but to be a bit disheartened?
I DO have the choice. I can choose to dwell on all the negatives. Surely I will miss my friends, will continue to worry about money, health, and my family. But those things, they never stop, do they? Life continually throws us these bad times. Who amongst us has all the money they could ever want, plus perfect health for themselves and all their family and friends? If this IS you, can I be adopted???
The thing is, we do have a choice to be overwhelmed or not. We can choose to let the bad times get us down, or choose not to. I can dwell on all that is lost, or choose to be happy for what I do have.
My friends who are lost to me, now suffer no more. And because they were terrific people, I realize that they would be saddened to know I was overcome by their untimely loss. It's bad enough they are gone, and will spend time with us here on Earth no more. But who would want their family and friends to become depressed and hopeless? We all hope, when we pass, that our loved ones will celebrate our life and be happy for having known us, not be sad.
Sure, my health needs constant attention, and I did not want my father to have to deal with health issues in the same way. BUT I do not have a terminal disease. I can get up and get out of bed and do the things I love, see my children and friends and even get to the gym now and again. What if I had been born to a poor family in a destitute country? I would not have survived 'til now to write this blog. That is a great bit of good fortune, right there!
And money, it's just money. We will make more, and we will spend more, and we will want more. But if you are going to worry about THAT all the time, you are going to miss out on life. I know people who are afraid to lose their jobs or homes, and I don't want to make light of that situation. Of course it's incredibly stressful and frustrating. I've been through both before. But the thing is, when I was totally stressed about losing my job and house in the same year, I came to understand that having THAT job, and THAT house, wasn't why the people I cared about loved me. I was being a bit prideful, and a bit scared of change.
Will your children still love and respect you if you have to work at Wal-Mart and move everyone into a tiny apartment? If they have to share a bedroom and wear hand-me-down clothes? I think that if you are a good parent of good children, the answer there is overwhelmingly YES. And I think that although 99% of us would worry about this exact question -- 98% of us need not worry. Our family knows we want what is best. And our kids want our time, love, and attention even more than that new Xbox game.
When I look back on my childhood, I barely remember what I wore or even what toys we played with. What I DO remember is all the fun I had fishing with my dad or camping with my mom, or going on vacation to the beach, visiting with friends, reading together... I don't even really remember being particularly disturbed on any of the occasions we had to move. And I'm 100% certain I had a good dose of hand-me-downs! If you feel the same, I bet your kids will feel the same as well.
So when bad things happen, what choice do you have but to be unhappy? You have the choice to throw pride out the window and count your blessings. You have the choice to embrace change and try to see what good might come from it. You have the choice also to lean on and take comfort from the people who care about you... They wouldn't want it any other way!
As a moral to the story... After I lost both my job and then my house, I moved in with my mother and went back to school. It gave me another adult in the house to help me look after my then teenage daughter, it allowed both me and my daughter to bond more with my mom, it saved me ooodles of money, and allowed me to start on a career change that was incredibly rewarding. Was it a "loser" thing to do? If you think so, well, I don't need your opinion! A lot of good came from this time, and I will not let you deny me that happiness :-)~
As trite as it sounds, if life hands you lemons, MAKE SOME LEMONADE! They're only gonna stay sour as long as YOU let them!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Der Tzitung, Der Totally Ridiculous!
OK, so, it's time to get controversial here.
I have long had issue with the idea that women of certain faiths must cover their hair... The idea basically being that it is too lovely and too much of a temptation to show publicly. Apparently, women's tresses flowing in the sunshine might incite even the most devout of men to be overcome by unholy thoughts and actions...
REALLY? OK, so, how are these devout men coping with the fact that the MEN in their communities are walking about with their hair showing? Hair is hair, after all -- and I have met many a man with much more fetching hair than I have. Far be it from me to suggest that the males of these cultures are regularly being overcome by spasms of homosexual (and thus extremely unholy) lust on a daily basis. On the contrary, my point is, THEY ARE NOT.
Why is that not happening, you might wonder? Well, how about this: people, men and women both, are in control of their thoughts and actions. If we DECIDE that we will not be overcome by hair lust for members of the same sex, then we are not. In religious terms, you can call this Free Will. God gave it to us ALL. It's how we manage to live our lives without daily succumbing to every little impulse.
Logically speaking, if we can exercise our Free Will to keep from defiling ourselves every five minutes in ONE area of our lives, we can DECIDE to do the same in others. For those hard of understanding, I'm suggesting that the idea that women must cover their hair so as not to incite public orgy, is in fact utterly ridiculous. The solution to the hair coverage problem would be for the men in these societies to, well, MAN UP. Control yourselves, for God's sake! You have the power. You exercise self-control every single day.
So now, the Hasidic newspaper Der Tzitung has decided that they can't show photos of women, specifically our Secretary of State and our #1 in Counter-Terrorism here in the good 'ole U S of A, in their newspapers. It's too provocative, too suggestive! Imagine that!!! The Hasidic community apparently finds Hillary Clinton so overwhelmingly sexy that to publish her photo could possibly topple their entire existence! God forbid (or does He?) they publish a photo of Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann...
What is even more astonishing is that there is a rule in Hasidic Judaism against deceit. This rule should well cover the idea of Photoshopping out key players in a scenario of major international import. It is concerning to think that of the two evils, deceit is more palatable to this "news" institution than is admitting that they are turned on by women in positions of power.
Sounding sort of kinky to you?
It gets better, though. This so-called news organization is not in some remote part of the World. They are in Brooklyn! As in, New York City! I hope they never run into the Naked Cowboy.
So I have to wonder now, if this paper cuts all women out of photos. One would think that it's nearly impossible to accurately (and without deciet!) report the news without at least mentioning women. But you just can't document their participation in any level of our society by printing a PHOTOGRAPH of them?
Shame, shame, shame on you, Der Tzitung! It would seem that the Hasidic community of Brooklyn would be better served by being ignorant of all news. And if you buy that, I have some lovely oceanfront property in Arizona up for sale...
I have long had issue with the idea that women of certain faiths must cover their hair... The idea basically being that it is too lovely and too much of a temptation to show publicly. Apparently, women's tresses flowing in the sunshine might incite even the most devout of men to be overcome by unholy thoughts and actions...
REALLY? OK, so, how are these devout men coping with the fact that the MEN in their communities are walking about with their hair showing? Hair is hair, after all -- and I have met many a man with much more fetching hair than I have. Far be it from me to suggest that the males of these cultures are regularly being overcome by spasms of homosexual (and thus extremely unholy) lust on a daily basis. On the contrary, my point is, THEY ARE NOT.
Why is that not happening, you might wonder? Well, how about this: people, men and women both, are in control of their thoughts and actions. If we DECIDE that we will not be overcome by hair lust for members of the same sex, then we are not. In religious terms, you can call this Free Will. God gave it to us ALL. It's how we manage to live our lives without daily succumbing to every little impulse.
Logically speaking, if we can exercise our Free Will to keep from defiling ourselves every five minutes in ONE area of our lives, we can DECIDE to do the same in others. For those hard of understanding, I'm suggesting that the idea that women must cover their hair so as not to incite public orgy, is in fact utterly ridiculous. The solution to the hair coverage problem would be for the men in these societies to, well, MAN UP. Control yourselves, for God's sake! You have the power. You exercise self-control every single day.
So now, the Hasidic newspaper Der Tzitung has decided that they can't show photos of women, specifically our Secretary of State and our #1 in Counter-Terrorism here in the good 'ole U S of A, in their newspapers. It's too provocative, too suggestive! Imagine that!!! The Hasidic community apparently finds Hillary Clinton so overwhelmingly sexy that to publish her photo could possibly topple their entire existence! God forbid (or does He?) they publish a photo of Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann...
What is even more astonishing is that there is a rule in Hasidic Judaism against deceit. This rule should well cover the idea of Photoshopping out key players in a scenario of major international import. It is concerning to think that of the two evils, deceit is more palatable to this "news" institution than is admitting that they are turned on by women in positions of power.
Sounding sort of kinky to you?
It gets better, though. This so-called news organization is not in some remote part of the World. They are in Brooklyn! As in, New York City! I hope they never run into the Naked Cowboy.
So I have to wonder now, if this paper cuts all women out of photos. One would think that it's nearly impossible to accurately (and without deciet!) report the news without at least mentioning women. But you just can't document their participation in any level of our society by printing a PHOTOGRAPH of them?
Shame, shame, shame on you, Der Tzitung! It would seem that the Hasidic community of Brooklyn would be better served by being ignorant of all news. And if you buy that, I have some lovely oceanfront property in Arizona up for sale...
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
War with Wegmans!
Well, my dad is a newly diagnosed diabetic, and is doing his best to avoid taking insulin. He of course is having to learn all sorts of new food "rules" and is trying to increase his exercise, to keep his blood sugar levels steady.
As anyone could imagine, this is quite a lot of effort. For instance, red potatoes are a little more waxy than white ones, and so their carbs break down more slowly. This makes them a pretty good choice for a diabetic, vis-a-vis regular potatoes, BUT you still have to be really careful about your portion size, and what you eat WITH those potatoes!
And pasta and bread pretty much always need to be whole-grain, again so that the carbohydrates don't break down too quickly and give you a massive rush of blood sugar.
In addition, things like tomato sauce and ketchup are just packed with added sugars, so it's important to make sure that you buy ones that have no added sugar, or use a sugar substitute.
Now THAT raises a whole other question -- what sugar substitutes are SAFE? Well, it is generally agreed that Aspartame (NutraSweet and the like) is not a great choice. Saccharine is OK, but it breaks down under heat. The American Diabetes Association, as well as many other sites, think that Sucralose (Splenda et al) is a really good choice, for health and also because it can be used in cooking and baking. I am partial to Stevia, as it seems the most natural alternative out there, and can also survive the heat.
Then there is fruit... Oh, fruit! How I love thee! And that is where Wegmans comes in to the picture....
On the Wegmans website, they have a section for diabetics. It gives you advice about what foods are GREAT choices, which are GOOD choices, and doesn't even have a third category for the so-so things... Hmmmm, if I were them, I think I'd be a little worried about a liability issue.
Well, anyway, Wegmans is in the business of selling food, regardless of who you are and what your particular needs are. And I would guess that the biggest spoilage loss for any grocer, is fresh fruits and vegetables. They can get bruised in shipment, damaged in the store by careless shoppers, and if not sold quickly enough, will go bad. So is it any wonder that the Wegmans website says, and I quote:
"All fresh fruits and vegetables are a great choice."
They do go on a little lower down, to say that you have to be careful with certain veggies like "potatoes and corn".... But that is it for their advice. ALL fresh fruits and vegetables are a GREAT choice.
Now, this concerned me. If one was newly diabetic, like my father, this really makes it sound like you can eat any and all fresh fruits and vegetables without a care in the World. Am I mistaken here??? But the reality is, many fresh fruits especially, are just so-so choices for a diabetic. And if you ate several fresh fruits and vegetables at the same sitting, it could actually lead to a dangerous blood sugar level!
Different sources tell you different things, but generally a glycemic index of under 50 is considered low, from 50 to 70 is considered medium, and over 70 is considered high. Glycemic index is not in any way a new or radical way to keep track of the food you eat, and most diabetics are very familiar with these measures of how much and how quickly your blood sugar is raised when eating certain foods.
A banana has a glycemic index of about 54. This varies with the size of the fruit of course, but also with how ripe it is... the actual glycemic index can vary +/- 5 points or so. The glycemic index of raisins or pineapple (with no added sugars), around 65. But the glycemic index of a serving of watermelon is high, at about 72. Blueberries, grapes, mangos and pears are all relatively high in their glycemic index as well.
So, I ask you... What if someone eats a fruit salad that includes watermelon, blueberries, pineapple, and grapes? What if they are out somewhere -- a restaurant or a picnic -- and aren't really paying attention to their portion size?
Well, I can tell you that for a diabetic NOT taking insulin, this could well result in a dangerous blood sugar spike. Personally, I would be in favor of calling any fruit with a LOW glycemic index (apples, strawberries, cherries, grapefruit) a GREAT choice, calling those with a medium index plain old "good", and calling those with a high GI just so-so.
So I decided of course to pop and email off to Wegmans to ask about this, and tell them that I really DO NOT think ALL fresh fruits and veggies are GREAT choices. Here is the response I received:
Hi, Susan,
We received your e-mail. We are sorry that you disagree with the information we provide on our Diabetes section ofwegmans.com. The information on these pages is maintained by our Corporate Nutrition team, all of whom are registered dietitians. Our message “All fresh fruits and vegetables are a great choice. Watch portions on fruits and starchy vegetables like potatoes and corn” is consistent with guidelines provided by the American Diabetes Association which states:
Eat lots of vegetables and fruits<http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fitness/food/what-can-i-eat/fruits.html>. Try picking from the rainbow of colors available to maximize variety. Eat non-starchy vegetables<http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fitness/food/what-can-i-eat/non-starchy-vegetables.html> such as spinach, carrots, broccoli or green beans with meals.
To see the full list logon to
http://www.diabetes.org/food-and-fitness/food/what-can-i-eat/making-healthy-food-choices.html
Research continues to show the benefits of eating fruits and vegetables in managing and preventing diabetes. Like all foods on a diabetic diet, it is important to factor the portion size, total number of carbohydrates, overall meal composition and timing of meals. But all fresh fruits and vegetables can be part of the a healthy, balanced diabetic diet.
We appreciate your comments and hope this information will be helpful to you. Please let us know if we may be of further assistance.
Sincerely,
Kim
Wegmans Consumer Services Specialist
OK, Kim, thank you soooo much for that canned response, and for taking great liberties with the one tiny statement culled from the vast ADA website... As if I did not do my homework before writing you! Your registered dietitians are clearly not up to speed here, and thanks for skirting the fruit issue, my main concern here, by not even mentioning watermelon or bananas along with your potatoes and corn.
So, this means war! I am now boycotting Wegmans until they mitigate this offensive and potentially dangerous material from their site, and I encourage you to do the same.
If you want to weigh in with THEM, you can send an email to comments@wegmans.com and if you want to see the offending material, the link is:
Be sure to scroll down, the "Produce" information is almost at the bottom, just above the (also misleading) information about "Bakery" items! And be sure to share the blog post AND comment on here! THANKS!
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