More about Spirituality...

So, I was asked, "Do you really think there is a God? That there is some guy up there looking down on you, who is going to judge you when you die and send you to Heaven or Hell? Do you really think you have to go to Church and all that (insert expletive here)???!!?!?!??!!!". Rather incredulously I was asked, in case the punctuation lacked subtlety.

"No, I don't." was my succinct answer. When prodded, my long answer is "I prefer not to muddle my Spiritual beliefs with religion, thank you very much.". That's it. Unless you actually WANT to know what I believe -- which a curious reader who wanders over to this blog quite intentionally, might or might not. But clearly (to me), my questioner's aim was to ridicule and bait me.

So be it.

So, in case that leaves a bit of a dilemma (not in my mind)... I figured I would expound.

I studied Science, Mathematics and Engineering. I am a big fan and student of Statistics. I capitalize them all, as I do Spirituality or God... Because to me, all these are ways to find what most people seek in their lives -- Truth and Meaning.

All of these things to me, anyway, are HOLY.

Now, religion, I would capitalize if I felt the same way about. I think that what once started out as a way to seek Truth, being an invention of Man, became confused and befuddled over time, and lost quite a bit of it's original intent and purpose. In the Renaissance (proper noun, not HOLY word!), men of Art and Science were also men of Faith, in many cases. And I think that if you examine the lives of many of the great modern-day philosophers and scientists, you would find that they do not see any reason why people should assume Science precludes the existence of God.

Personally, I feel that when the two disagree, we (being mere men -- so to speak) have just gotten something wrong along the way. We've missed something. After all, to err is human, as I myself try to prove daily!

Now to me, there are a few things that point to something one might call God. For one thing, I look and marvel at our World, and the amazing and beautiful variety of nature and species it contains, and I conclude that something so magnificent, Statistically speaking, is an extreme outlier. As in, if it got here somehow by cosmic accident alone, that would be one Hell (tee hee hee) of a Statistical anomaly. Ummm, meaning that seems quite impossible to me.

Also I note that all sorts of phenomena that were previously unexplained (or incorrectly attributed), were eventually explained through Science, even though these things (like radio waves, magnetic fields, and the like) are not detectable by the human senses. We have to find the way to SEE them.

So why should I PRECLUDE anything else that might be here, on our little rock called Earth, that we simply have not found a way to detect, measure, quantify? Something implied, but beyond the reach of our (God-given??) five natural senses? If I accept that, because I personally can not see it, feel it, taste it, smell it or hear it, then it does not exist -- then does that mean the magnetic field around the Earth will disappear? I think not, therefore you are not, and POOF!

Also to me, just based on my own personal experience, it seems SUGGESTED that, as our bodies cease to function, there might still be something, some as yet "unsensed" something held within or about us, that also exists after our bodies do not (see Grandma blog?). For lack of a better word(s) I think of this as Soul or Spirit. To me (and feel free to disagree), living things have some essence that we can only glimpse but not yet quantify.

It mattes not what I call this, or if you believe. I can only say I believe this USUALLY very privately, but from personal experience. As I have said previously, I might be completely wrong. That has certainly been the case on many, many occasions. But I believe it until something happens to, in my eyes, disprove it (see Logic blog?).

Anyway, that there is something else to us, as individuals, that survives (to my way of thinking) the physical property of what WE call being alive... This suggests to me again some other force at work that we as yet do not understand. In essence, if you combine my belief that the Universe and specifically Earth and all its wonderful inhabitance possibly being NOT accidental PLUS the fact that I think we as people, as living beings, are actually POSSIBLY more than just our living beings... Well, you get a belief that perhaps there is something larger afoot in the Universe than just the piddlings of us living people.

Now, this is NOT to say I think that there is some guy up there watching us. I am really very undecided on the idea of good vs. evil, as I am on the notion of heaven or hell. I really don't think that, when we die, someone is going to place our soul, our essence, in a scale, weigh it, and send us on for our own particular eternity. If there is a God, capable of such wondrous creations, why (on Earth hahaha) would He/She have time for something so darn trivial!

And can I possibly think that either Jews, Christians, Muslims, lefties, righties, gays straights brown-eyesblue-eyeslovestowearredhats will be the only ones who are judged worthy of some reward after "death"? Ummm, again illogical, trivial, and statistically highly improbable. If there IS some sort of larger force in the Universe, it created us all. And if this entity were at some point to judge us... Let me say I will entertain you with my idea of what would happen...

We rise from our non-functioning earthly bodies and are greeted by some other-wordly entity with the power, grace and creativity to make the entire Universe work, much in the same way a fine watchmaker works... And we are -- each and every one of us -- awed and enlightened to know this Truth. And that is enough. Then, all of us enlightened, departed souls hang out or float around, or whatever it is we do, in perfect harmonious agreement, because now we all know the same secret.

Religion, on the other hand, to me at least, seems contrived and even perverted. I have to say that most of my personal experience is with Christianity, and to be honest, almost all of the people I know personally who identify themselves as Christian, really are fine decent people.

But I sure read enough to know that is not always the case. And I'm not NAIVE enough to think it's someone's particular flavor of ice cream (or religion) that MADE them that way. People everywhere, in every land and throughout time, have been capable of immense good or acts of horrifying cruelty. It is usually a matter of personal choice, in my honest opinion.

So if you recite the mantra or the Hail Mary's or toke your doobie or whip yourself, fast or keep kosher... THESE are all the trappings of Man. These are all interpretations of how people THOUGHT there might be a path, once upon a time, to Goodness and Truth. I don't think regular Church attendance MAKES you good. Certainly then, regular Church attendance at SOME PARTICULAR CHURCH, isn't going to make you "good" either. Illogical.

And just with any major organization, like government ir business, religion is a structure rife with the opportunity to do either good or harm. What makes any particular endeavor mostly "good" or mostly "bad" depends entirely on the sum of the actions of it's participants.

So, I guess all I'm saying here is, that to me my particular experience and education leads me to believe that there is some force out there that is beyond our current methods of evaluating, and that this force or entity (or entities, for all we know) are capable of some amazing and beautiful things that I feel to be pretty amazing. Awesome. Good, if you will. And I think that some part of us, when our living bodies cease to support us, might just become a part of that force or entity.

Certainly no one has provided to me, what I feel is definitive proof to the contrary (see Logic blog?).

And no, I'm not worried about heaven or hell, and I'm not particularly worried about the state of my soul or even yours, for that matter. Because I think that, in the end, it will all work itself out somehow.

Because of this, I don't feel a need to label what I think or feel, or to "convert" you to my way of thinking. After all, I said before, I have been wrong many, many times.

Even so, the Statistician in me says that my beliefs are a pretty nice way to "hedge my bets" as it were. Not to suggest that the things I believe are contrived for that purpose. I'm just saying that, if anything I believe, by some MIRACLE turns out to be correct, then hmmm, lucky me. But then again, I feel like if I didn't think this way, things would turn out fine in the end, too.

So, I'll see you ALL sometime on the other side. And you can tell me what a fool I was!

I ADMIT!!!

I admit, I take "happy pills". If you have been reading me for a while, you know I "suffer" from chronic depression and sleep disorders, including but not limited to insomnia (go figure, 4am posting???)... The thing is, in general, I only take enough "happy pills" to keep the crying jags and super-sleep marathons at bay.

As a testimony to this, if I skip my "meds" for two days straight -- I am liable to have a complete reversal of my generally sunny disposition. I cry at sappy commercials, spilled milk, recipes gone awry and a dog not walked enough. This is true even though it apparently takes two weeks for these meds to build up and work in your system... I continually "push the envelope" by taking exactly as little as I can get away with, and still function as a human being. I refill my anti-anxiety meds about twice per year, instead of once per month.

Even so, one might have to wonder if my blogs aren't a little colored by medication. Do I think things are always great? Am I delusional or mentally ill? Am I looking at the World through anti-depressant-colored glasses? Do I think everything I say on here is RIGHT????

Well, luckily I've never been diagnosed as delusional. Even in the depths of depression, I have been told I am a die-hard (that was tongue-in-cheek for those of you who speak ESL or who just aren't big fans of "dark humor") realist. I have been told I'm logical to a fault, and that this contributes to my general dissatisfaction.

Apparently, if I would just have feelings and allow them to be IRRATIONAL, some very educated people think I would be happier. ILLOGICAL!!!

The thing is, everything I post on here, is subject to debate. I think, and I am logical. But I really do accept that -- not only do I not have ALL the answers -- I might well have NO ANSWERS!

The reason for this, sadly, is again my reliance on cold, hard logic. While you CAN prove something to be FALSE... You can not definitively PROVE SOMETHING TO BE TRUE. And the catch-22 here is, that just because something is proven to be true, does not necessarily mean that its (perceived) opposite is false.

Consider the statement that "all apples are red". If I bring you a green apple, you can accept that all apples are NOT red. The way you disprove something is to show a counter-example. This works brilliantly with things that are very narrowly defined -- like red and green apples.

What about 800 years ago, if you tried to prove the World was flat? Certainly for a very long time, no on had successfully circumnavigated the globe, disproving this theory. Does that mean, though, that 800 years ago -- THE WORLD WAS FLAT? Clearly most people would say NO. But can you be certain????

What about the Universe? Can we be sure of Creationism versus the Big Bang Theory? Well, if we are really to decide, FIRST we must accept that the one precludes the other. Same with Evolution. Does the existence of monkeys in the modern World disprove Evolution? Some would say yes, some no. Most definitively!

But are they truly opposites? If you say yes, how can you prove THAT to me???

PLEASE, prove to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is no in-between... That there is NO GOD, and that Evolution was not a part of his plan... Go on, I'm waiting....

Sometime in the near future, I am going to have to go to Court, and disprove (beyond the shadow of a doubt!!!) that a debt that was incurred is NOT mine. This defies logic! But that is how civil courts work -- on anti-logic.

If I committed assault or theft, you would have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it DID happen. And that, at least in theory, is possible. But how do you prove something DIDN'T HAPPEN??? Did a tree falling in the forest, make no noise? Even once did this NOT HAPPEN? The World may never know....

And so, no, I don't take everything I write as being "true". I live for truths to be disproven. I love to be shown a different and better way.

So I ask my dear friends and readers this: Please PROVE to me that the World was NOT flat 800, 900, or 1,000 years ago. Please PROVE to me that Evolution and Creationism are mutually exclusive. Show me a new way. But please, follow the laws of Logic as you do so.